Our New Year’s Resolution

Well, I probably should call it what it is.  My husband’s New Year Resolution to keep me out of the store which will keep me from impulse purchases which will stop me from spending money.  Because, damn am I good at spending money.  Like, really good.  Really, really good.

So we had a discussion and he told me he would do all the grocery shopping from now on. At first I was like, YES! I mean how many people would be thrilled to not ever have to go grocery shopping again?  But after a few weeks (two) I started missing my thrice weekly $200 shopping visits.

And my husband has this thing about “THE LIST.” If it isn’t on THE LIST then it doesn’t get purchased.  First of all, he doesn’t tell me when he is going to the store to allow me time to put things on the list.  Second of all, I am not going to remember the entire name of things.  So when I asked for “Jimmy Dean’s Cheese and Egg Croissant” and he didn’t get it because he could only find one with egg, cheese AND sausage, well, I have an issue.  And there are just some things that you have to buy name brand.  I don’t have time to explain all this to him.  Like Kraft Shredded Cheese, Dixie Paper Plates, Campbell’s soup and Sara Lee Bread.

And then we had this text conversation:

Him: Going to Store.  Need anything?

Me: Cat Food

Me: Paper Plates

Me: Pads

Me: Tyson Dinosaur Chicken Nuggets

Me: Pads WITHOUT Wings

Him: Buffalo Wings?

Me: Always Pads.  #1 Without wings

Him: Won’t they sick out of your underwear?

Me: I just don’t like them. Not a conversation I am going to have with you. Buy what I want or I will go and buy them myself.

I was impressed that he got the correct ones.

I am trying to be supportive and agreeable to this plan.  The fact that he can do all the grocery shopping once a week and take less than one hour is definitely annoying but I understand the plan.  I am also convinced he’ll eventually get tired and we’ll go back to the old way.  Isn’t that the way resolutions work?

 

Super Bowl Sunday

So I was glad the underdogs won.  I heard someone in Vegas bet a million dollars on the Eagles.  I’m glad he won.  Not that I really care – I only watch for the commercials and the half time show anyway.  Danny Devito as an M&M.  Pretty funny.  My other favorites were the NFL commercial to the Dirty Dancing song and the Verizon Alexa commercial.

The Eagle quarterback certainly earned his pay with this game.  Seriously impressed with his football throwing skills.  Yeah, Okay, Tom Brady too.  It is just that he isn’t new and shiny anymore.  (and they lost, remember?)

But I do have a couple of worrisome areas.  First of all – what the hell was the Patriot’s coach wearing on the sidelines?  Seriously it looked like a lycra spandax blue turtleneck over a Flashdance sweatshirt.  If my husband left the house looking like that knowing he was going to be on TV, I would make him march right back in and change his clothes.  A hoodie would have looked better.  (for the record, he might want to consider his outfit being bad luck and never wear it again. Just a suggestion).

But I’m not done.  WTF was Justin Timberlake wearing?  A Camo suit with a crappy print shirt?  I am just shaking my head not understanding his wardrobe at all.  I am sure it is not a reflection of the last time he performed at the Super Bowl – can’t really have a wardrobe malfunction with camouflage, right?  Jeans and a black t-shirt would have looked better.   Couldn’t Jessica have said something?  Anything?  Like “Honey, don’t you think a nice pair of jeans and a button down shirt with strips would look good?” I waited and waited thinking that maybe he would bring out all his Back Street Boys but nooooo. Somewhat disappointed.  Stage set up was phenomen, though.

We had nachos two ways (Regular with chili and shredded cheese) and Queso Dip made from Velveeto Cheese and Rotel.  My husband told me to shred some cheese. I told him I don’t shred cheese; I buy it already shredded.  Which meant I got to run to the store and get a Starbucks at the same time.  Laziness paid off.

We also had wings.  Didn’t care for them too much.  My husband made this special brine to soak the wings 24 hours and then slow cooked them in our crock pot and baked them to get them crispy.  Next time we’ll skip the brine soak, I think. Or go to Little Caesars.  I like their wings. I get them plain and then use Buffalo Wild Wings mild sauce on them.

Good game. Glad I watched most of it.  Also had laundry to do.  I Tried pitching the kitchen towel into the washer from the doorway.  I missed.  Guess no ring for me.

My Snow Day

Yeah!  Work called a snow day.  Which would be great except I get to deal with this all day as I try to work from home:

Boca work from home

Christmas 2017

We had one of those minimal Christmas this year.  By that I mean I only put up the tree and one box of ornaments (and when I say “I,” I actually mean my son’s girlfriend – I rather like this one).  It was enough to say MERRY CHRISTMAS and enjoy the lights without all the work.

And we had a great Christmas:

  • I found out that my son opened up the tin box with the Papa John’s gift card and had been using it prior to Christmas.  He only had a $4.32 balance left on the card Christmas day.
  • My husband bought me a new laptop. I got him a wallet. Which took me two tries because he told me the first one I got for him hurt his ass.  I guess wallets to men are like purses to woman.  Which brings me to…
  • My “To Lori From Lori” gift this year was a new purse and wallet. I have been complaining about needing them for months.  I even bought a new purse a few months ago. Used it for one day and then pulled my old purse from the trash because I ended up hating it.  We are so far so good with my Christmas purse.
  • I have this one gift that I have been trying to re-gift for two years.  I was so happy when my daughter told me she would take it and give it to her boyfriend’s mom.  Except she didn’t and I got to unwrap it for a second time on Christmas Day.
  • My son is a voracious reader so we always get him a BAM gift card. This year I tried to also buy him a book by one of his favorite authors.   When he saw the gifBiblet was a book, he said he would “bet me $100 that if I got him a book, it would be one that he already had.”  Which pissed me off.  So I wrapped a second book and put it under the tree.  It was this one:
  • Don’t you hate it when you get a gift for someone and then have gift regret?  You know, when you know you really should give it to them but secretly want to keep it for yourself?  That happened to me this year with a pink sequined heart pillow that I gave my daughter.  I hid it from her so she couldn’t take it home with her. But then she missed it and took it later.  I sent her this text message: “Heart pillow texted me and wants to come back home.”  I got this response:

 

  • Heart Pillow

I would buy another one but it was the only one the store had.

An End to a Tradition

For the past 25 years I have sent out an annual family Christmas letter.  And I know there are many annual Christmas letters that are horrendous and boring and all they do is make you feel bad.  I’d like to think that mine was not like that.  Because I really tried to make it funny and not talk about the new job, wonderful vacation, over-achieving children or perfect family.  More often than not, I would be bitching about my son still living at home and the 4 pound rat that my cat brought into the house as a play thing.  One year my husband and I had a great debate on whether or not I could include an awesome picture of roadkill in my Christmas letter (he won, I didn’t put it in).

I started the process the same: I purchased my Christmas cards that were covered in glitter and picked up some really cute stickers for the envelope from the Dollar Store.  Spent way too much time deciding on what holiday themed stamps to buy and updated my Christmas address list.  Except when I started to write the letter, I had…nothing.   Which was really weird, right? I mean, I am the person who once wrote a letter to my mom and dad from college.  When my dad asked my mom what I said, she told him it was three pages about doing my laundry in the college dorm laundry room.  I should not have this problem.  Yet, there I was – twenty drafts of an annual Christmas letter that was just – boring.

Maybe some of it was because when I re-read the 2016 letter we really didn’t have much change. My kids were basically in the same place.  My husband and I at our same work.  All the pets were fine.  Same house.  Same commute to bitch about.  Same old.  Which is probably good, right?

I remember when we lived in Las Vegas.  My 11th grade daughter came home one Sunday after spending the weekend with a friend and told me how happy she was that she had a boring family.  And to clarify this, I got to hear about an angry person and drugs and a 911 call and two girls locked in a bathroom on a Saturday night.  Compared to that, I was grateful we were boring as well.

So to those of you who read my blog and usually get an annual Christmas letter, I am sorry I didn’t send one out this year.  I tried.  I really did.

May everyone have a Happy, Healthy and Financially Secure 2018. snowman

LWL Musings #99

So when I pulled up to the drive thru window and the McDonald’s worker person made a comment about all the hot air when I rolled down my window to pay, I MIGHT ADMIT I had the heat in the car a little too high.

I received this email:  “male-enhancement just started following you at http://laffwithlori.com. They will receive an email every time you publish a post. Congratulations. You might want to go see what they’re up to! Perhaps you will like their blog as much as they liked yours!”  I am just so confused. Should I go look at their blog? Will I really like it?  Should I just be happy to have someone follow mine?  Or maybe I am just reading way too much into this…

It’s annual Christmas Letter time.  Trust me, my letter is never one about bragging about the family.  In fact, this year it has a lot of groveling about my adult millennium son who is “gliding” through life these days.  I am still searching for lounge pants that have the days of the week printed on the ass.

It is so irritating that my husband is now off work until after the 1st.  I hate having to get up when he doesn’t.  I told him he could at least be a sympathetic vacation person and get up when I do and then go back to bed after I leave.  Nothing irritates me more than the comment: “Will you turn off the light?”  But that’s okay.  Sometimes I get to let a very hungry cat into the room,  shut the door and then leave.

My son texted me:  “Can you buy me beer?”

Me:  “Are you getting along with dad?”

Son: “If you mean avoiding him, then yeah.”

He got beer.

My husband needed a new wallet. So I got him one.  But he doesn’t like it. And the reason I know this is because I found his old wallet under my pillow one night.  I guess it is a hint.  He deserves a new wallet – you should see the new purse and wallet he got me for Christmas.

This is a picture of a dog that knows how to take a good nap:

Casey sleep

 

Christmas Package

When you have a family member in the Navy and want them to know how much you care:

Ryan Pkg