She Grew Up and Left Home

My daughter moved out (again).  But it’s different this time.  I am pretty sure that she really, really means it.  So I have to totally accept the fact that:

  1. She will never ask me to clean her bathroom again.  Or offer me money until I agree to clean it.
  2. I will have to haul all our fur babies to the groomers and vet myself.
  3. I can no longer get an employee discount at the retail shoe store where she used to work.
  4. I won’t have to quiz her for tests. Or review all her papers. Or explain the concept of Cogito, ergo sum.
  5. I can no longer guilt her into running out at 8 pm to buy me ice cream.
  6. My husband has changed his spot in the driveway to where she used to park her car.
  7. I lost my gym partner.
  8. She has moved out. Forever.  And ever.

I was really good, too. Because I truly am super excited to see her fly away and be free!  She graduated college and decided to move to a different state.  I was a little teary but good.  And I thought I was funny as hell when she texted me during the move and my response was “Can’t text now, am sobbing because my only daughter left me.”  She didn’t think it was funny at all but I was just trying to be that super cool and supportive mom. You know, don’t worry about me, go live your life and be happy.

Today was a kind of hard day.  Woke up feeling melancholy and teary.  My wonderful husband gathered me in his arms and kissed my forehead.  He looked lovingly in my eyes and said, “She just grew up and left home.  It’s okay.”  (Well, in my mind that is how it went but in all honesty he was probably a little irritated when he said it).

So it’s all good. And now I get to put all my focus on the youngest child to fly and be free.  I think we have different ideas of exactly what that concept means.

A Wednesday Holiday?

Don’t get me wrong, I am THRILLED to have a holiday and a day off work.  It’s just that I cannot remember ever having a holiday occur in the middle of the week.  Even counting Thanksgiving although I have had jobs that also give the Friday after off as a holiday as well.

So I googled it.  The last time the 4th of July was on a Wednesday was in 2010.  That was a helluva long time ago.  Honestly I cannot even remember where I was working in 2010 (which may be an indication of job hopping but at least I stayed for at least 4-5 years at each one).

I had this conversation with my husband.  His reply was “Well, you really can’t make the 4th of July holiday always occur on the first Monday in July.”  Yeah, I got that. It just seems so weird to me that I am going to work Monday and Tuesday, off Wednesday for the holiday and then back to work Thursday and Friday.

And then there is the whole fireworks thing.  So when officially would you set off fireworks?  I heard some last weekend and I would assume I will hear more on Wednesday.  But would the holiday also span into this coming weekend?  I mean, since the holiday is on a Wednesday it could conceivably fall over two weekends and who doesn’t want beer, hotdogs and live ammunition blowing up in the sky over two whole weekends!

I especially liked the days where we could go to other states and get the “special fireworks.” One of the nice things about living in rural Ohio was that there was plenty of room for all the fireworks.  Our current neighbor has this small cannon. He set it off one night and it made a helluva loud bang. I mean, loud enough that the cops were called.  Not by us, though.  We told him our family DOES. NOT. CALL. COPS.  His cannon was very impressive though. I wonder if we can talk him into shooting it off again today.

The 4th of July holiday is always hard on pets.  We have always made our cat stay inside on this holiday as well as Halloween.  Just to be safe. Besides as quick as Boca-cat runs into my bedroom closet when he hears thunder, a bunch of loud firecracker noise is not something he enjoys.  We also used to have this problem with little Casey.  As soon as he heard any fireworks, he would start with the low ferocious growl (which is adorable coming from an 8-pound Yorkie) to the hell bent barking when it got really loud.  We all would say “Shut up, Casey” which of course did absolutely nothing. Today at age 16, Casey is deaf so can’t hear a thing.  Don’t get me wrong, he still goes outside and barks daily.  It’s just that no one knows what he is barking at anymore.  But he is happy and that is all that counts.

So I guess I will sleep in on Wednesday. My husband will probably BBQ something if it isn’t horribly hot out. Lawn has been mowed so that chore is off the to-do list. Not that there isn’t a boat load more yardwork that needs to be done but it is a holiday, after all.  And everyone knows that yard work should only be done on the weekend.

4th of July quote

 

 

Moving Day! Again.

So my daughter is moving out (again).  I know this is the 4th time but I truly believe this is it.  I came home from work and told her I brought her moving boxes.  She said she was glad I brought the small size.

moving box

I had this same issue when my kids were in preschool. We had signed up to bring the cupcakes for a special daycare celebration.  This was back in the day when I actually made the cupcakes vs. buying them from the local grocery store bakery.  I had grabbed a good cupcake toting box, put all the cupcakes in it and left it on the counter for my husband to drop off with the kids the next day.

The next morning he had removed all the cupcakes from the box and was taping tin foil to the outside.  When I asked him what he was doing, he said,  “Next time please don’t bring a condom box for cupcake day, okay?”  (I worked in public health back then and we gave out A LOT of condoms!)

Time for a New Phone

My phone sucks.  I have an android.  I probably should get an iPhone but I have an android.  And my husband isn’t ready for a new phone yet.  Because we already have an established hand me down system; he gets a new phone, I get his old phone and my son gets my phone.  My phone obviously is not aware of the timing issue because it started being stupid.

First I couldn’t access my photos. Then I couldn’t even take a picture. One morning I wasn’t able to access my work email which meant I had to be at work at 8 am instead of a bit later if my morning was free.  Then the absolute worst happened – right in the middle of playing a game, my phone would freeze up and I would have to stop playing.

My husband said he could fix it and asked if I could leave it with him for the day.  Later he called and asked me for my email password.  When I told him, he said I had to spell it – twice- and then told me it was a stupid password.  Now, my thinking is that if you have a made up name that you have to spell, well, that is a damn good password.  Besides it’s not like he has to use it everyday.

I got my phone back, was told it was fixed.

But it wasn’t. I didn’t get any text messages the next morning so my phone obviously is not working. When I looked more closely, I discovered I had 8 contacts. I was pretty sure I had more than that.  I texted my husband and told him I had 8 contacts and he was not one of them.  Then I emailed three people (including my husband) and asked them to text me so I was sure it worked.

Text from my daughter:  HI Mom! I love you!

Text from my friend:  Hope you are having a good day!

Text from my husband:  Did you overdraft the bank card again?  I texted back and told him I was expecting something along the lines of “I love you.” He texted back that I was not to use the bank card again.  (I guess that is how my husband tells me he loves me in his own special way).

At least my camera is working and I have all my photos back.  And while I did have all my games, I was pretty pissed that I had to start over on all them.  Back to level 1.  I was at level 610.  Sigh.  I think it’s time my husband got a new phone.

 

LWL Musings #57

  • All I am saying is that if you have a walker tied to the top of your vehicle, you have no business driving in the left lane on the highway.

 

  • It is that time of year again – dog fluffs all over the house.  It is a lot like when you see all those seed clusters fly around outside in the springtime. And of course the groomer is always 3 weeks out when you call to make an appointment.  So I just have to remind myself – love my dog, love their fur while I put up with them for a bit longer.  And nag my kids into picking them up.

 

  • It’s yard work time again.  I am so over this already and it isn’t even June.  I tell my husband I will help and then go to Starbucks and run errands all day. And our city is so unreasonable with the collection of yard waste.  It has to be collected in these stupid paper bags and put out on Thursday.  I am going to propose that all we have to do is pile it all up along the edge of the street and they can vacuum it all up twice a week. I could probably get elected with that campaign plan.

 

  • I am so proud of my daughter.  She had to take an exam the day after having outpatient surgery.  On pain pills.  She got an 88.  But I still think I helped – during the 5 hour wait I read all three of her chapters and made notes.

 

  • Casey dog is getting more blind every day.  I know it seems mean, but I just can’t help playing the hot/cold game with him when I place his dog food on the floor.

 

 

The Belly Button Saga

Earlier in the week, my daughter came to me, pulled up her t-shirt and asked me to feel her belly button.  Which I did and was immediately grossed out because there was obviously some kind of bump thing right there under the skin. When she asked me what it was, I told her I had no idea.  That, of course, did not stop her dad from diagnosing the problem:  It was a cyst from her belly button ring. Or maybe a hernia.  All I knew was that I politely refrained from any further touching of the area despite repeated requests to do so.  For some reason, she felt better knowing that someone else was feeling this weird bump, too.

Then she went to work.  And the texts started.  When I did not respond within 3 minutes, she texted her dad to “tell mom to read her texts.”

Mom, my stomach is starting to hurt really bad.  Do you think I should go to the doctor?

Me: IDK, do you think you should go to the doctor?

After numerous communications back and forth, the decision was made not to go to urgent care (usually a waste of money unless you have a cold, pink eye or need stitches) but to go to the Emergency Room.  Christina left work early because the pain had just become too unbearable.  (Like, what is your boss going to say when you tell him you are going to leave early because you need to go to the ED?  No, you have to finish out your shift?)

So I got the mommy task of taking my daughter to the ED at 9:30 pm.

When we walked in, the waiting room was empty.  I was thinking how lucky we were that they were obviously not busy and we could be in and out in a couple of hours.

It took 2 hours just to get her situated in the little room, give her an IV and blood pressure cuff, get blood and make sure she wasn’t pregnant and for me to realize that I had forgotten my cell phone and had no games to play for the duration of this event.

Here is how the night evolved:

  • They had these nice wipe boards that listed all the staff names. However, not one of the staff listed assisted us.
  • All you have to do is watch. By the time the visit ended, I knew how to turn off the beeping BP machine, open the roll away cabinet full of medical supplies and unhook an IV so Christina could go to the bathroom. All very handy to know as the night dragged on and I had no phone to play Best Fiends.
  • I was sad to hear that Christina actually thought she had belly button cancer. She did the same thing to me when she was in 5th grade and had a terrible canker sore.  She made me take her to the doctor for that, too.
  • She was in a lot of pain. They finally gave her morphine. I got to tell her that I got morphine once and it was great.  Unfortunately times must have changed because by the time I finished my story, her morphine wasn’t working any more.  She did get more but it obviously just wasn’t the same. I swear mine lasted much, much longer.
  • After an ultrasound and CT scan, the doctor said the little bump was actually scar tissue. Which the doctor said could be very painful. Okay, that made no sense but we had already paid our $100 bucks and that was all we were going to get. Oh, and some pain patches that were useless.  Guess getting some morphine to-go was not an option.

So after 5 ½ hours, we were done.  By then it was 3:00 am and I had exactly 3 hours and 20 minutes before I had to get up for my 7:30 am Tuesday meeting.

Oh, and for a $20 co-pay Christina’s regular doctor diagnosed a hernia in about 3 minutes two days later.

I’m not allowed to call her Hernia-Girl anymore, though.

 

Time to be an Empty-Nester

I recently read an article online.  It stated that in 2008 there were a lot of 20-something kids still living at home.  Fast forward to today and the article stated that trend did not stop once the economy got better and jobs were available.  If anything, there are even more 20-somethings are still living at home with their parents.

Which brings up my current complaint that I have two 20-somethings still living at home. Now, I really love both my kids.  I would do anything for them; I just want to do it from a distance of at least 5 miles away.   This really hit home when my best friend, Patty, called and told me she and her husband were official empty-nesters with their youngest going away to college last fall.  Her kids are like YEARS younger than mine.  All I could think was NOT FAIR!

After that call, I went to both my kids and told them I wanted them to move out.  I wanted to be an empty nester as soon as possible and they needed to help me attain this goal.  In fact, I informed them that they were having a negative impact on my middle-aged life. While they both readily understood and agreed, I could not get any definite move out dates from either of them.  Well, to be honest my daughter graduates from college in July and she did say she would be gone after that.  So now I get to work on my son.

Seeing that this conversation didn’t end with totes being filled and a new residence found, I believe I am going to have to hurry things along.  So here is my game plan:

  • Next time there is a bunch of kids over, I am going to gather up all my lawn equipment, pass it out and give instructions on what part of the lawn they will be responsible to work.
  • I am going to seriously consider putting outside locks on all three bathrooms and I  will hold the only key.  They will need to complete a chore before being allowed to use it.
  • I am going to put an empty tote next to each bedroom door.  As dishes are used and not cleaned, I will scoop them all up and place the dirty dishes in their tote for them to clean later.  I am positive this will work for my daughter.  Not so much for my son.  His bedroom already smells bad.
  • I will place ads on Craigslist asking for a room to rent for my kids. I will lie and tell them how helpful they will be with chores.  I’ll even offer to pay the first 3 months of rent for them in advance for a one year commitment.
  • Whenever I leave a chore list on the counter, the last chore listed will be “Move out of house.”
  • The only food I am going to purchase will be bread, peanut butter, jelly, cereal and milk.  The bad part about this idea is that it will just force them to go to Taco Bell.
  • I will continue my crusade of asking my dear friends if anyone has interest in letting my kids live with them.  I have yet to find a taker but am not giving up.

But I think there is one thing my husband and I can do that will really have an impact:

  • I am going to inform both kids that effective immediately their dad and I have decided to become nudists and will no longer wear clothes in the house.  I have to believe that seeing a naked mom mopping the floor will be enough to force the issue.