You know how sometimes you lie in bed in the morning and wonder if you have any clean underwear to wear? When that happens to me, I invoke the “Underwear Fairy” and plead that I will be able to find JUST ONE so that I can get up and get dressed. But sometimes the Underwear Fairy isn’t kind and this past weekend was an example. And I had a lot on my “To Do” list for the day:
- Put stupid 7.5 ft artificial Christmas tree back for sale on Craigslist. The damn thing is way too big for our living room even if it does look very nice. (Note to self: Try to make more than what you paid; it is the capitalistic way)
- Finish making 12 dozen decorated Christmas cookies for the cookie exchange at work next week. That is 144 cookies not counting all the cookies I know my son is going to eat. REALLY should have thought this one through. It’s not like I get to mix a bunch of ingredients and put spoonfuls on a cookie sheet and bake for 15 minutes. No, I have to actually KNEED my dough, roll it (well, I really just pound it flat; don’t even own a rolling pin), cut out Christmas shapes with cookie cutters and then bake. After the cookies are cooled, I then have to make icing and decorate each and every single cookie with icing and sprinkles. Yeah, REALLY SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS ONE THROUGH. The really sad part is that these are the only cookies I know how to make from scratch (a condition of participating in the cookie exchange). On the other hand, I will soon have 12 dozen different types of homemade cookies, which is pretty cool.
- Get a haircut.
- Go grocery shopping.
- Go to Goodwill and purchase an ugly Christmas sweater. We are having a contest at work and I want to win. I figure any sweater with holiday trimming from Goodwill should do the trick.
- Do some Christmas shopping. Don’t forget to peruse Sunday newspaper store ads before leaving with every intent to use coupons and purchase sale items and then forget to bring either the coupons or sales ad when I leave the house.
- Get a Grande Chai Tea Frappuccino from Starbucks.
Now, granted some of these things I my list I could do sans underwear but as I get older, I just can’t do it anymore. So I am resigned to putting in a load of clothes and waiting for clean, dry underwear before I can leave the house or sometimes before I will even get out of bed.
Usually there is always that “one last pair” of underwear that everyone really doesn’t like but will wear if absolutely necessary and is taken as a cue that it is time to do laundry. But for some reason I missed that one. So I had to get up and put clothes in the laundry (a task you already know I abhor). Even I have to agree that a bra-less mom in pajamas on the weekend is just gross. (Yes, I do have a bathrobe and no; I don’t like it and would rather pull a sweatshirt over my pajamas. And if put on my sweats and hard sole slippers, then I would be dressed to drop off my son to school in the morning….)
Damn Underwear Fairy