Things I do that probably irritate my husband (I’m assuming)

  1.  I have blown speakers in the two cars I have driven.  Which probably isn’t that big of deal except for the “But you listen to Barry Manilow and Clay Aiken” comment from him.
  2. When I am FORCED to put air in my tires, I use the old “just eyeball it for the correct amount of air” in each tire. But then when I pay $80 bucks for an oil change where someone who is trained puts air in my tires; that irritates him, too. 
  3. When going to the movie theater for a movie, I loudly say “PREVIEW” using an obnoxious loud squinty voice whenever the green preview disclaimer comes on before the movie clip.  Just because.  I do this with anyone that goes to a movie with me.  (Which means that the next time they go see a movie without me and this screen comes up, they will always think of me). 
  4. I’m not a very good cook.  What I can do fairly well is preheat and place frozen food on a cookie sheet.  I immediately cook everything on high heat.  Because high heat = I am done cooking faster.  Which I do realize is not correct, but I simply can’t seem to change. And I never use salt and pepper when I cook. 
  5. I can sleep anywhere and anytime.  No matter what.  Including hurricanes and tornados. 
  6. I don’t listen to him all the time.  I only listen when I think it is important.   Okay, so I am lucky if I listen to him maybe 40% of the time.  But we have been married for a long time so my thinking is that the two things are somehow related. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it).
  7. He’s bought me two versions of a Kindle and I still buy books from thrift stores to read before falling asleep every night. 
  8. He absolutely refuses to go to Wal-Mart with me.  Wait.  Everyone refuses to go to Wal-mart with me. (Maybe I should look into that).
  9. I’ll have $100 cash in my wallet on Monday.  On Wednesday I will be broke.  When my husband asks what happened to all my money, I innocently look at him and say, “Poof?”
  10. He hates the way I drive.  He says that I speed (really? Is this something new to him?) and that I am hard on brakes because I wait until the last minute to stop and I follow too closely behind cars on the highway.  He said a bunch of other things, too but that’s when I stopped listening (See #6 above).

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