I really appreciated the fact that you took the time to stick your head out of the back door and tell me good-bye before you left for work this morning. However, what you probably do not realize is that you locked the door after you shut it and then left the house. After I made sure our dog, Abbey finished her business, replaced the cover on the grill and straightened out the potted plants; I tried to come back into the house only to discover that you had locked me out.
There I was: 26 degrees, no coat, a confused dog who didn’t understand why I wouldn’t open the door so she could go inside and a son who was upstairs getting ready for school amidst a background of very loud music who was obviously NOT hearing my incessant pounding on the door.
So I walked over to the fence. You know, the tall wooden one that leads to the back yard and is locked. Since the key was in the house, which I couldn’t get, I decided to climb over the fence so I could then walk around to the front door. Good idea, right? I mean, the kids do this all the time. Did I mention I was dressed for work in pantyhose and high heels? Do you remember my age at all? Did you not have a tiny little voice in the back of your head telling you that maybe, just maybe you forgot something?
Yes, I was successful. I got halfway over and then had to renegotiate the final push since I wasn’t able to find a toehold on the other side. My pantyhose were ruined. My left ankle is a bit sore. I have one helluva splinter on my right hand. Our son swore he didn’t hear a thing and the dog still wanted her good girl treat for taking a crap before I left for work.
I am so signing you up to win a free colonoscopy.