A Memo to my Daughter

Date:           Thursday, March 29, 2012
To:              Christina J
From:           Lori J (Your Mother)
Subject:      Pet Monkey


I realize you have stated you want a pet monkey.  However, as your father and I have told you, pet monkeys are dirty and mean.  Even though you assured us you would keep your pet monkey in diapers, you need to realize that the monkey would take it off and smear monkey poop in your room.

While I understand you feel you could manage the monkey by saying “Bad Monkey” and it would learn, we continue to have serious doubts.  You are 19.  You are not getting a pet monkey.

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