For the past several weeks, I have been gathering some spam emails. I have no idea how the marketing works and I am simply amazed that spammers would think anyone who has even a smitchen of intelligence would bother. But below are a few of them that I did take exactly 4 seconds to wonder…
Indoor Banana Tree – Grow your own bananas for pennies Damn! I would really like to grow my own bananas! For Pennies! Jobs@careerbuilder.com – SPAM! Job Offer This has to be a good job, right? Tomoko Malika – We promise that you will be thrilled with every bag You buy from us Bag can have so many different meanings
Living Research Institute – 4 Dangers Destroying Men However, I can get the answer to that just by asking my husband
Get Back to Me – Please get back to me Can we be more pitiful? And Why? JOHANNA – JOHANNA has some pictures for you! Why do I get the feeling these aren’t the “Week in Pictures” kind? Engagement Rings – Top quality engagement rings 80% OFF with lifetime guarantee Too bad the lifetime guarantee doesn’t come with the wedding as well, right? Forklifts – Compare these forklifts and save! Seriously, how in the hell did I get on THIS mailing list? I swear my husband had better not have signed me up for a heavy equipment training program again. The Daily Deal – Free! Knives, Monkeys, Up to 54% off Digital Cameras I can’t even imagine how one can realistically combine knives, monkeys and digital cameras in one sentence. ADRIANA – Hey Babe I Freakin MISS you! OMG! I FREAKIN miss you, too! Claim Your Coffee – Love Starbucks? Free $100 Coffee Giveaway! In my heart I know this is a gimmick but damn what I would do for a free $100 in Starbucks! Spirit Now – VERY URGENT Information that will affect your IMMEDIATE FUTURE That reminds me, I need to check my horoscope. Orgreenic Holiday Offer – Cook Healthier Meals this Holiday Again, how could I have gotten on this mailing list? Someone definitely screwed up on the marketing demographic if they are sending this to me. Fried Chicken Survey – $100 KFC Gift Card FREE – see details They so had me at “Fried Chicken Survey.”