Discussion with my 19 year old daughter, Christina:Me: “I had this recruiter call me three times this week. You would think that if I don’t call him back, he would get the message.” Christina: “A recruiter called you? How did he get your name?” Me: “Probably off Linked In – sure wish he would quit calling me.” Christina: “But mom, why would anyone ask you to join the army?”
Text messaging my son who was camping with some friends:Me: Be wood! Me: I meant Be good! Michael: See you tomorrow Me: Be Good in the Wood! Michael: Mom, quit texting me.
Email message to my husband:
Imagine my SURPRISE when I got ready to leave and ASSUMED that you had loaded all my stuff into my car. And the reason I assumed this? BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT THE DAMN DONUTS IN!! But NOOOOOOOOO I had to make three trips in the rain to put everything in my car INCLUDING your stupid package and I couldn’t even use an umbrella. AND then I had to schlep to the post office and do the same thing.
You owe me slave for the weekend. (Just so you know in advance that means I get to sleep in until 3 pm and will stay in jama clothes all weekend, eat sunflower seeds and watch movies on the Lifetime Movie Network. And you can’t bitch).
Actually, I stole the donuts and was in the car ready to leave. Then I felt guilty that I took food from our children and brought them inside.
Good thing you wrote “Love Lori” at the end of the email cause I could swear that you were whining and bitching.