Major Knee Surgery

My husband recently had major knee surgery.  I didn’t listen to many details other than it involved the cadaver ligaments of a 22-year-old.  And some meniscus thingy.  Of course the cadaver part was rather creepy.  Unless you wanted to give me a new 22-year-old ass; that would be open to consideration.

With minimal complaining I took off the whole day to be the supportive wife and partner for my husband as he readied to go under the knife. Which meant that I told him as soon as he was taken “into the back room” I was going to leave and get lunch at Sonic. When I returned from lunch, I was told my husband was still in the “surgery holding area” and I was welcome to go back.

“No, that’s okay,” I answered.  “We’ve been married 26 years; I’ll just wait out here and watch Law and Order.”

Forty-five minutes later, a nurse cautiously came out to the waiting room and said, “Your husband is asking for you.  I didn’t tell him that you said you didn’t want to go see him,” she assured me.  Deciding not to even try to explain it was just a joke, I just gathered up all my stuff and followed her.

My husband was in this little room.  Evidently there was a delay and he was not going to be going back for the surgery for at least another two hours.  I think he was tired of laying there with nothing to do and decided it would be more fun to have me as the entertainment.

Of course first I had to ask if he had a catheter.  Because last time when he had one, I got into a lot of trouble for kicking it.  But he didn’t.  He had to tell me numerous times to leave his IV stuff alone and no, I could not mess with all the dials on the wall over his head.  He also would not let me take the permanent marker that was in the drawer next to his bed and write “CUT ON THIS KNEE” on his leg.  Nor would he let me draw a small picture of a flower on his arm band.  I got to try on their surgical gloves (which fit me perfectly and they were such a pretty color of purple!) and best of all he got to have his own private support stocking hose puppet show:

Puppet: I am so sorry you have to have surgery.  But you’ll get to have all these really neat drugs and feel super really soon!

Finally he was able to be wheeled back and I got to return to my marathon Law and Order TV shows. 

All is well.  Except I had to leave for my business trip to San Diego two days later.  Which really was poor planning on my husband’s part; my trip was scheduled way before his surgery date.  Besides, he had our kids to help him out.  And lots of Percocet’s.


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