We would let you go outside if you would just quit licking your ass

We have uttered the above words to our cat, Boca at least 10 times per day.

Boca met his match.  He had a bite taken out of his ass by some adversary animal.  And we are assuming it was bigger than a mole, mouse or bird.  It took us a couple of days to realize what had happened.  In hindsight, we should have known something was wrong when Boca hissed at my husband (which he never does).  Once we found his injury, we immediately took him to the vet.

The vet told us that Boca got bit as he was running away (Wow – Cool CSI evaluation based on the fact that he was bit in the ass and not in the face).  The wound was infected and had to be cleaned and Boca needed to be on antibiotics immediately.  We opted for the more expensive shot of antibiotics vs. the daily medication.  Trying to get Boca to consume medication is as easy as getting my son to eat green food. 

The vet also recommended that we keep Boca inside for a few days to give the wound time to heal. 

When we got home, we immediately closed the pet door and checked the inside litter box.  We have one; I just never check it because it is never used.  And this was no exception. Clean as a whistle.  But just to make sure Boca knew it was there, we showed it to him again and explained the concept.  Cat litter was good; towels on a floor in the kid’s bathroom were bad (we had past experience on this issue).

And so I got to appreciate having an outside cat that never uses his inside litter box.  How that cat can have bigger shit piles than my Golden Retriever is beyond me.  And the stench!  Febreze, solid air fresheners, incense and an oscillating fan did absolutely nothing to mask that horrible odor!  I must have gone through at least $150 in cat litter – I refuse to even attempt to scoop that shit up. The whole double-bagged shebang goes right into the outside trash can. 

Boca is also very unhappy that he can’t go outside.  He has this real annoying loud cat noise that he makes to tell us how pissed off he is.  Not exactly a meow but more annoying like a screechy nails on a chalkboard type of meow.  Because now that he has been on antibiotics, he thinks he is well enough to go outside again.  And the entire house is on “Boca Alert” to make sure he doesn’t slip out the door when we open it.

The problem is that the damn cat won’t quit licking his wound and so it won’t heal.  We pour peroxide on it.  We try to give him more antibiotics mixed in with his food.  We even tried putting a large band aid over it which lasted exactly 5 seconds and Boca had it removed (We could have done without the glaring cat stare that he gave us).  I am almost desperate enough to consider cat underwear.

So we are at a standstill.  We won’t let Boca outside again until his injury at least scabs over.  Boca won’t leave the wound alone long enough to let it scab over.  Which I guess means we’ll just have to continue to deal with the litter box and keep telling him: “We would let you go outside if you would just quit licking your ass.”

One response to “We would let you go outside if you would just quit licking your ass

  1. ok, I can just picture Bocca standing on your chest in the middle of the night with a little knife in his pawslifted over his head ……………………..

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