In honor of school starting

The blog below was written when my children were both in high school (10th and 12th grade).  I am now OFFICIALLY done with public school.  I cannot tell you how great that feels.  

My two kids, Christina and Michael have a huge issue of being tardy to their high school.  They have to be in school at 7 am and never seem to be able to make it on time.  In order to address this issue, we had a family meeting:

“Mom, it isn’t my fault! Michael makes me late and it isn’t fair that I have to wait for him!”

“The reason I am late is because you take too long in the shower!”

“You quit using my hair straightener!”

“You suck”

“You suck”

Now, my husband’s input into this meeting (because it was a family meeting, after all) was to show both kids how to open and close a door quietly.  His complaint is that the slamming of doors wakes him up.  I simply don’t understand how he hears the slamming of doors and misses the “Michael! We have to leave!  Now!” screaming that begins 6:45 am and ends at 7:05 am or when the car peels out of the driveway; whatever comes first.

Therefore, I have instituted a new morning schedule. I set my alarm for 5:30 am.  I give Christina until 5:35 am before I get up and knock on her bedroom door.  Christina says, “Fine, I’m getting up.”  I caution her that she HAS to be out of the shower by 6:00 am.  I then go back to bed only to reset my alarm for 6:01 am.  At that time, if I do not hear Christina leave the bathroom, I again get up, let Christina know she has to get out of the bathroom NOW and then I wake up Michael.  I go downstairs (at this point I have lost; clearly the kids are not going to cooperate) and make coffee – this is for my son, not for me.  He has to be the grumpiest kid alive when he gets up early.  Christina on the other hand is already starting to work on her hair and is drinking a diet coke. 

After his shower, Michael will then go downstairs to put his single pair of jeans into the dryer.  If he is late I will follow him downstairs chanting: “Hurry up.  You should have done this last night.  You are late, get moving.”

At approximately 6:20 am I have both kids reasonably well on the way to walking out the door.  I ask if my services are further needed.  At which point my son glares at me and my daughter very sweetly will say, “Nope, I’m good.” 

I am now ready to wake up my husband by lying next to him in bed loudly humming “Home on the Range.”  If Mom’s up; EVERYONE is up.

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