Fifty Shades of Irritating

SPOILER NOTICE:  I am going to share specifics of the book Fifty Shades of Grey so don’t read this blog if you plan on reading it. And if you plan on reading it, well – good luck with that.

So, my daughter purchased the book Fifty Shades of Grey. I think her plan was to wait me out until I bought it and then she would read it but I told her I had no interest in the book.  In fact, you will never see me with any type of romance book. Sometimes I do get tricked but the very first time I come across a “Please, no don’t” next to a “YES! YES! YES!” with any reference to a throbbing whatever, the book is in the trash.

So my daughter purchased the book and read it.  When I went on a recent business trip, she gave it to me to read on the airplane.  I would not be caught dead reading such a book on the airplane but I did throw it into my suitcase.

Of course I completely finished the book I had brought with me (mostly because of the hour long wait on the runway due to a “small problem with the ancillary power connection.”) So I now had no other book to read before going to sleep each evening.

So I decided to read the book Fifty Shades of Grey.

And I tried to keep an open mind; I really did.  Young adults are so stupid naïve romantic entertaining when it comes to relationships and love.  My kids can date anyone they want now.  After all, this is the time for them to learn the relationship definition of “loser.” And I am more than happy to provide feedback upon their request.  Their dad, on the other hand, is more than happy to provide feedback as soon as he meets them.

But to return to the book. There were issues. I mean, if you are going to commit to S&M than commit, dammit!  You can’t be all “Ooooh, you bit your bottom lip again; I am going to have to spank you.”  Really?  And “You can’t drive a POS vehicle; I will buy you a new car.  And you must have a personal trainer and I am going to give you a job in my multimillion dollar company.”  I was incredulous that this was part of the plot of this book. Oh, oh, oh – and don’t forget about the hunky cute rich brother who woos the roommate.  Standard fare in every romance, right?  I was ready to pitch the book into the trash when I realized I probably should give it back to my daughter since it was officially her book.

So I didn’t finish the book although my daughter told me how it ended.  At the end of the book they break up.  In the second book they get back together and apparently in the last book they get married.  When I asked my daughter if she liked the book, her response was that it was “okay.”  Thank heavens for that.  I mean, I have no idea how I would seriously respond if she had any questions about S&M.  But I wouldn’t object to the rich boyfriend idea though.

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