I recently came across an article on the internet titled “The 10 Most Dangerous Teen Fads.”
Number one of that list was: Butt Chugging. Butt Chugging was defined as “a disturbing act of ingesting alcohol through the rectum is also known as an alcohol enema.”
Out of curiosity, I texted both my kids:
Me: Have you or someone you know ever practiced butt hugging?
Me: I meant Butt CHUGGING (Stupid self correcting T9)
Christina: haha. No, IDK what that is
Michael: No mom. I have never consumed alcohol through my rectum
Me: I am a bit concerned that you knew what this meant. Have you been to a butt chugging party recently?
Michael: I know what it is because they did it in Jackass, and no I have not.
(I wondered if the cops caught you would they give you a butt-alyzer test?)
The next Most Dangerous Teen Fad was “Car Surfing.” This is where you stand on the roof or hood of a car while someone drives it pretty fast. My first thought: They had better be wearing protective head gear. My second thought was that if they were stupid enough to do this, I seriously doubt they would have brought their bike helmets with them.
Next was “Pill Parties” where kids steal pills and put them all in a big bowl and take them. Yeah, have fun with all the diabetic, high blood pressure, Viagra, prescription strength Imodium and heart burn medication. Trust me, all the good pills are kept under lock and key for the adults.
“Vodka Eyeballing” (pouring a shot of vodka directly into the eye) was just extremely stupid to me. I mean wouldn’t this be painful? And exactly how stupid can a teenager be? (Nevermind, already answered that in my mind).
This goes right along with the next dangerous teen fad: “Drinking Hand Sanitizer.” Boy, one must be pretty damn hard up to do this. I mean, isn’t it much easier to drink your parents vodka and then replace it with water? Or does it start with hand sanitizer and then move to the hard ass stuff like Aqua Velva After Shave? Do you think it would at least keep the teens from catching the flu?
“Synthetic Marijuana” also made the list. “Synthetic marijuana is a wide variety of herbal mixtures containing psychoactive ingredients from a number of different plants,” according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. This reminds me when I was in middle school and my friend, Toni and I took a menthol cigarette, smeared toothpaste and paprika all over it and pretended that it made us really high. Yeah, I am still embarrassed about that today.
Finally, the “Cinnamon Challenge.” This “involves placing a spoonful of cinnamon in the mouth and trying to swallow it without water.” I immediately think I may have already started this with my son. When he was five, I gave him a big tablespoon of Hersey’s Unsweetened chocolate. My son, thinking it was the good stuff immediately began coughing and hacked the crap up all over my kitchen floor. Okay, maybe not a positive parenting example but at least it was better than stupid cinnamon.