Don’t you ever just want to…

  1. Stop the driver on the highway so you can ask them why they feel the need to constantly hit their brakes when everyone is traveling 70 mph? Oh, and curse the person who is driving way under the speed limit in the left lane while talking on a cell phone? And while I’m at it, why does traffic crap increase in direct proportion to my PMS?
  2. Suggest to the supposedly homeless person begging for money that if they didn’t have a cigarette in their mouth people might be more responsive?
  3. Ask your teenage son why he can never remember to take out the trash every Sunday night when it has been his personal chore for over 12 years? And also inquire if he really enjoys his mother going “mom-ass” all over him at 11 pm because it isn’t done yet? And why did I find his $200 retainer in the driveway?
  4. Enforce a house rule that “No teenage girl under the age of 18 is allowed in the house?” I simply cannot deal with that drama crap anymore. And with my youngest being almost 19 years old, I simply shouldn’t have to.
  5. Make a face and say Ewwwwwwwww when you see a car license plate that says “JUICY MAMA” and there is a senior citizen driving.
  6. Remember how excited you were to see snow for Christmas because now it’s March and the snow is just irritating the hell out of you.
  7. Figure out why I get stopped by the second red light no matter what time I leave for the grocery store.  Everytime. Without fail.
  8. Have a talk with your kid’s college and explain to them that they cannot accept parent’s tuition money and then absolutely refuse to let you see your kids grades.

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