Happy Mother’s Day!

You know you are a mother when:

  1. You automatically increase the restaurant tip rate to 30% once you have toddlers.
  2. You take your two and four-year-old children into a 7-11 on the way to daycare to purchase their lunch.
  3. Your daughter complains of not feeling well as you drop her off at school.  As she gets out of the car, you tell her to call her dad if she has to leave school.
  4. You find a gallon of fermented milk in the back of your car that your son forgot to bring into the house.
  5. You tell your teenager that it is a state law that the radio cannot be turned on the first 6 months of driving.
  6. You get really good a settling arguments between your kids using only text messaging.
  7. You take your daughter to the Las Vegas strip and have her belly button pierced as a 17th birthday gift.  And make her swear to tell her dad she got it when she was 18.
  8. From my cousin, Rhonda on the eve of her son turning 18:  “Josh turns 18 on March 1st.  He’s made plans to go to a strip club with friends, but I told him he couldn’t go because it is a school night.”
  9. You have 31 missed calls on your cell phone

And finally:

10.  You can finally admit to yourself that you enjoy your pets more than          your teenage children.

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