More Bits and Pieces

Lesson learned:  Don’t ever put any of my husband’s tools in the dishwasher.  Because they turn rusty.  I told him it wasn’t my fault; someone left the stupid wrench in the kitchen sink so it immediately went into the dishwasher.  It’s a family rule that I have absolutely no control over.

tools

********************

Whenever I think I am special because I have my own assigned parking space at work, I just remember that I am probably the only employee who has to dodge the neighbor’s trash cans when parking on Thursdays.

********************

Sometimes I just get damn tired of bitching to my young adult children.  So I make appointments for all of us to go and get our teeth cleaned.  And a pap smear for my daughter.  And a hernia cough test for my son.  And if I am feeling especially bitchy, I will get a text message from an unknown local number that says: “This is Michael. Just checking in.  Will be home later.”  And I so want to respond with: “K.  Don’t forget test for STD on Monday.”  But I won’t.  I am not that mean, yet.

********************

My son just turned 19.  Here is his “Birthday Horoscope:”

GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You are curious but not exactly adventurous enough to branch out just yet. It’s wise to test the waters.

Does this mean the universe is telling me he is never going to leave home?

Again, his horoscope for June 10th:

You just can’t force yourself to accommodate people today — so don’t bother making excuses! Sometimes you have to just do your own thing, and there’s no time like the present to take care of yourself.

In other words, the lawn is not going to get mowed again today.     I simply have to quit reading my children’s horoscopes. 

********************

How to tell your teenage children are bored:

Car Plate

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s