Things I get tired of saying to my adult children

I get so tired of saying the same things to my two young adult children still living at home:

  • I don’t care who drew it, please get the pressure washer and remove the picture of the penis from the back patio.
  • Which one of you used up all my Kroger points to get a discount on gas?
  • I realize it is a family calendar but I don’t appreciate you writing “Touch yourself Tuesday” on every week.
  • At this point I believe it would be more cost-effective for me to pay to fix John’s oil leaking mess of a car than to keep purchasing 25 pound bags of cat litter to pour over his oil puddles in our driveway when he comes to visit.
  • Putting all your trash in a garbage bag and then dragging it into the loft area does not mean “I already took the trash out.”
  • Please do not bring any leftover bagged food back to the kitchen after they have been half consumed elsewhere.  That is just gross to me and your dad and we are not going to eat it.
  • I gave up on the silverware over two years ago.  I now buy in bulk from Sam’s Club and just replenish once it gets low.
  • I hide things I do not want lost or broken.
  • There is a reason I text you the exact time we will be home after a weekend trip.
  • I don’t care what you say, “F*CK” is not an acceptable word in our house and it most certainly is not the name of your sibling.
  • I am not stupid.  And your father isn’t stupid, either. 

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