21 Reasons why I am too old to celebrate a 21st Birthday:

  1. I could feel the music thumping in my chest hours after we left the club.
  2. I couldn’t figure out what people meant when they called me “a cougar.”
  3. I am not a cougar.  (Seriously I get the eye candy part but wouldn’t you eventually have to talk to them?)
  4. I don’t care how good you think you look. If you are over age 40 you have absolutely no business twerking.
  5. I continually used the “What? I can’t hear you?” because it worked.
  6. My daughter has to learn that mixed drinks is an art.  Having a table full of colorful mixed drinks that she didn’t like was overwhelming.  (Eventually the bartender made a drink especially for her:  Loopy Vodka, cranberry juice, pineapple juice and a splash of sprite.)
  7. The reason young adults drink beer is because they cannot afford the cost of mixed drinks.  I can afford it.  But I don’t want to spend the money.
  8. 21 is still too young for tequila.
  9. I danced.  And I probably should not have.
  10. I was the only one at the club wearing panty hose.
  11. I learned that some of my zumba songs are also dance songs. But I probably should not have danced my zumba moves.
  12. When I went to the bathroom, I secretly scanned the TV listings on my phone to see if there were any good movies to watch later.
  13. No one asked me for my ID.  And I didn’t care.
  14.  4:00 am is waaaayyyyyy past my bedtime
  15. I was able to use my late night clubbing as an excuse because I was too tired to do anything for the next 5 days.
  16.  It is not cool to go up to the DJ and request a song like “Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.”
  17. Drunk boyfriend comments were comical to me; not to my daughter (he is now an EX-boyfriend)
  18. The shoes.  I was absolutely in awe that these girls can wear these high inch heals for hours.  Not only would I be in tears, I would need a foot massage and deep soak pedicure to recover.
  19. When my husband asked how the clubs were.  The first response that came to mind was:  “They are sticky.”
  20. Now I can’t get this song out of my head.

And the number one reason I know I am too old to celebrate a 21st birthday:

21.  I was secretly happy to learn that I was only invited because they                                 needed a designated driver.


One response to “21 Reasons why I am too old to celebrate a 21st Birthday:

  1. I’m 21 and I can relate to all of these things. I sincerely do not understand the concept of “clubbing” as “fun”.

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