More Conversations with our Children

My daughter asked if I wanted to carpool to work.
“You’re out of gas, aren’t you?” I asked.
“Totally on fumes,” she responded.

Daughter:  Exactly how long is one million seconds?
Dad:  There is one easy way to find out.
Daughter:   Oh, like Google it, right?
Dad:  Well, I was thinking more along the lines of dividing by 60 but that would work, too.

I walked in from work, took one look at my husband’s face and asked: “Okay, what did our children do this time?”  Surprisingly, it wasn’t the kids.  Boca-cat had brought a live chipmunk into the house and let it go.  It’s all in the timing.  I missed the hunt and release by minutes.

First time son was alone overnight on a Saturday.  Needless to say, as parents we had major reservations.  So I posted a huge post-it note on the wall with explicit directions:

  1.  If the cat bites your ankles, you need to feed him
  2. No smoking in the house
  3. No drinking in the house (and this doesn’t mean you just go outside)
  4. If you find Casey lying on his back on the kitchen rug, making little mewing noises, it means he is hungry.
  5. Make sure Abbey can get out the pet door.
  6. Do NOT eat my Cheetos!
  7. We will be home by 4 pm on Sunday – I will text you exact time so you can make sure house is clean by the time we get home.
  8. Lock the doors at night.  All doors.  Every one.  Don’t forget.
  9. Please text me occasionally just to reassure me the house is still standing.

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