Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty

During one of the cruise ship stops in Honduras, we went to this private island to do some snorkeling.  It has been years since I went snorkeling and it is nice to know that the inflatable vest still keeps me afloat.  There were absolutely no instructions given so when I saw these ugly algae covered bottles tethered to the ocean floor, I stayed as far away as possible. No one told me you were supposed to follow them like trail pointers.   I also quickly learned that one must not float ABOVE the coral because you will end up with a skinned knee or shin or something.  (It is difficult to curse under water when you find yourself in that position.  Not impossible, just difficult).  When I suddenly realized no one was around me, I popped my head up above water to find the deck with the people w-a-y f-a-r a-w-a-y.  I don’t think I ever swam so fast back to home base. All I could remember was the movie, Open Water.

They also had an animal sanctuary on the island. There were jaguars, monkeys, birds, panthers and these little kitty’s called ocelots.  The jaguars and panthers were rescued from drug dealers who would shut them up in a room filled with drugs, money and guns and use them as guard dogs. Try and find the monkey in this picture:

GE POCKET CAMCORDER

The ocelot was a cutie.  So I went to the fence and leaned in calling “Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty” and was rewarded when this one came down to greet me.  GE POCKET CAMCORDER“How cool is this?” I thought.  Until the ocelot turned around, flashed up his tail and proceeded to spray cat urine all over the left side of my body.  “Oops, I guess I should have warned you,” was all I got from our tour guide.  Damn Cat. I bet Boca could have beat his ass.  Trust me no amount of soap or ocean water makes you feel clean after that.  (And I didn’t appreciate all the “Do you smell something?” comments from my husband, either.)

We also did this thing called “Sea Trek” where you put on these $10,000 helmet thingys that weighed 75 pounds and then you descend down this long ladder 30 feet to the ocean floor and get to walk around.  That was pretty damn neat although I was disappointed to find out that they do not pump Valium induced oxygen into the helmets.  It took me forever to climb down the ladder and I refused to leave the final step because I couldn’t touch the ocean floor.  The guide had to literally pull my ass off that ladder.  But once down, it was so cool and you could actually walk around and see all the coral and huge fish and colorful fish and other ocean stuff.  What I really liked the best, though was that I could jump really, really high.  Like a whole person high.  Which I proceeded to do again and again.  Until the guide told me to stop. GE POCKET CAMCORDEROh yeah, I also didn’t appreciate the underwater video that my husband took of my 15 minute descent down the ladder into the ocean.  I’m sorry but  no one needs to see that much of my butt, ever.

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