10 Reasons why the Polar Vortex Sucks

  1. My car heater cannot keep up with the cold.  Therefore, I am getting a new car.
  2. Last night I was dressed in sweat pants and cuddle-dud’s (a much better version of long johns; we have so evolved), sitting in front of an electric heater with a heated throw covered by a blanket.  And I was STILL DAMN COLD!
  3. I am getting really tired of fighting Casey for floor space directly in front of my personal space heater.
  4. My usual electric blanket setting at night is a 4.  This past week it has been at 8.  And the only adjustment my husband made was to start using a blanket at night.
  5. A cop car had to follow behind the garbage man on Monday when he was picking up trash to make sure no one slid into him.  At last a sound example of my tax dollars at work. And I also bet that the cop car had a REALLY GOOD CAR HEATER.
  6. No one wants to be stuck inside the house with Boca-cat.  He is being so hateful to everyone because he is stuck inside the house and bored to death.  That means we have to tip toe around him so he doesn’t swipe at our feet and trip us, yell at him to quit pouncing on Casey and wake up in the middle of the night to pissed off Boca noises (if he can’t go outside, NO ONE is going to get any sleep!)
  7. I had absolutely no good reason as to why I could not take down the Christmas tree and put away the holiday decorations when I was stuck at home for four days due to the weather.
  8. NOW would be a really good time to start experiencing hot flashes. But with my luck it will be next July.
  9. All my really warm socks are ugly
  10. This whole Polar Vortex explanation is a sham.  The movie industry is just making the whole thing up to be used in a future hit movie that will gross millions.

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