Those Damn Day Lilies

It is THAT time of year again. Spring = yard work = Lori complaining for a number of different, valid reasons.

Despite having over an inch of snow four days earlier my husband and I were out in the yard last weekend.

My husband had “a list” because he always has “a list” which is extremely irritating but after so many years of marriage, you just give in.

The two things on my list was 1) mow grass and 2) dig up day lilies.

Then my husband decided to expound on my list:

1) Mow grass – you will have to use the push mower because the grass is too high and the lawn has to be aspirated and then weed and feed applied to the entire lawn. Because the grass is so high, you will need to bag all the grass trimmings. Otherwise the weed and feed will not penetrate down to the soil.

2) Day Lilies – Make sure you get the roots when you dig them up. Take them to the front side of the yard, dig holes and replant them. It would also be nice if you could plant a few around the mailbox as well. Don’t forget to make holes at least one foot deep and you will need to water them afterwards to make sure they live.

First of all, our old push lawn mower may say “Self-Propelled” but it really isn’t. It is more of a “Self-propelled no more than 15% of the time and never when the yard is going uphill” kind of mower. And the bag attachment was broken. Which immediately made me say:

“Damn, I can’t bag the grass clippings now because the bag is broken!”

Of which my husband responded by putting down his list, taking a bungee cord and wrapping it around the top of the bag making it stay closed. Sometimes I really wish I had a husband who wasn’t so damn smart.

The grass was so tall that I could only go up and down the lawn twice before the mower bag was full. I would only fill the lawn trash bag two times because I didn’t want it to be too heavy for our garbage person to pick up (One should never underestimate the importance of keeping your trash person happy) so in the end I had 18 half-filled black plastic bags of grass clippings.

(I also found one dead bird, two dead gophers, one dead shriveled up mouse, three assorted beer cans, one plastic cup, various paper from local fast food establishments and a ball from the next door neighbors. Evidently it was a very mild winter for us. The dead animals were courtesy of Boca-cat, I am sure).

Now on to the day lily project. Those suckers are not easy to dig up. I started small – with just a couple hand garden tools. But I quickly upgraded to a shovel and pick axe. And got clumps of the suckers up at a time. I really didn’t care if I got the roots or not. They were gone and I figured weed kill would do its magic on the leftovers.

I used my faithful two-wheeled wheelbarrow (does anyone think I would be coordinated enough to manage a wheelbarrow with only one wheel? Yeah, right) and dumped all the plants in it and then rolled it out to the road.

Now the area it was to go into to be replanted was a previous weed infested, small tree and bush area. Meaning it was full of stumps. Not like it was an easy dig. In fact, it sucked. I hate Ohio dirt. So if I couldn’t make a small dent quickly, I went on to a better, easier place. Of course, I quickly grew tired of this whole project so I put the plants into the many small holes I had, stomped the ground around them and said “Live or not, I am done!” and threw the rest of the leftover plants into the field across the road. (I will admit that the next day I felt sorry for all the wilted plants I had semi-planted so again used my nifty wheelbarrow and dumped water on them all).

As I was working I thought I should have added a few pictures of the jerry-rigged lawn mower, the day lilies in the wheelbarrow, the bags of grass clippings at the edge of the driveway on trash day and all the sad little replanted plants by the road but I didn’t. I was too damn tired.

But I did get a picture of this:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And the reason I only got a picture of ONE hand was because I had to use the other to take the picture.  My husband had abandoned me to go next door to Don’s house for a beer.

He is so on my special list…

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