You’re Married – Just get used to it

EXAMPLE 1:

He thought I was sleeping as he quietly tip-toed over to my side of the bed.  Reaching ever so carefully, he skillfully adjusted the white monitor so the front was facing him.  Cringing at the sound yet knowing he had no choice in the matter, he pushed one of three buttons: “Click, Click, Click” until he had reached his desired setting.  And then checking to make sure he didn’t trip over the dog, he slowly moved away and back to his side of the bed.

NOTE TO HUSBANDS EVERYWHERE:  If you decrease the setting on your wife’s heating blanket temperature you have just committed an act that is admissible in divorce court.

Now, touch my electric heater and you die.

EXAMPLE 2:

email

EXAMPLE 3:

I was ill this week.  Which means I am allowed to use my cell phone next to my bed to call the house phone so my husband has to get up from watching TV in the livingroom, answer it and then bring me a glass of ice water.  And for the record, I didn’t appreciate the germ barrier face mask.

EXAMPLE 4:

Why can’t Hallmark offer a card that says:  “I Love You…Now Quit Being an Ass.”  It can have flowers on it, really.  It’s the sentiment that counts.

 

 

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