Home Improvement – DONE!

So, does anyone want to buy a house? Because now that the renovations are FINALLY finished, ours is up for sale.  I mean, it’s not like we installed new carpet and painted the interior for our own future living enjoyment.  Everyone knows you do all this hard work and then when it’s done you wonder why the hell you didn’t do it earlier when you could enjoy it yourself.  Because you don’t. What you do is put your house up for sale.

We had a POD delivered and filled it with most of our stuff so we could stage our house in the most impersonal way possible.   Except once the POD was taken away, I realized I had packed away stuff I still needed.  No problem – just went out and bought new.  Everyone needs two circular saws, right?

Note the "Podzilla" name - Awesome!

Note the “Podzilla” name – Awesome!

I had to explain to Boca-cat that the litter box had to go.  You can’t sell a house with a litter box in it.  It’s a rule.  And the dogs had to vacate the premises when the house was being shown.  Which was super cool to them because they got to go to the park and poop in a new grassy lawn (thank heavens for park supplied pet poop bags).

Every time I mowed the lawn I would pray it would be the last time.  Because I am so over mowing almost two acres of land.  (Although I am still totally loving my weed whacker and have newly discovered how awesome it is to use a pressure washer)

And Craig’s List became my new friend.  Because I had to sell this:

 And this:

 And this:

 And this: And also this:

 As you can see,  we had some projects in mind and while some of the materials were used, we had leftovers. Went pretty cheap.  I wasn’t in the mood to bargain.  Unfortunately the one thing I REALLY WANTED TO SELL WAS THIS:

 Alas but not to be.  Lawn still needs to be mowed.

Then there was the “green pool incident” where I came home after a few days out of town to discover that our swimming pool water had a definite greenish tint to it.  Larry, the go to guy at the pool store immediately knew what it was (But I do think he was a bit taken aback when I gave him my water sample stored  inside a Christmas Tupperware bowl.  I mean EVERYTHING went into the POD).  Larry started explaining to me about fertilizer and algae and how I needed to put in 8 ounces of this and turn off the pool pump and then back flush the something. At which point I totally lost interest.

“Look, Larry” I had to explain, “all I do is skim the pool. So anything more than that just isn’t going to happen.”

So I got a different bottle of algae stuff, written directions on how much to put in when and agreed to clean the pool with a brush everyday for a week.

I am beginning to hate the pool as much as the lawnmower.

My husband is still working out of state so I am doing this all on my own.  In hindsight I probably should not have mentioned to my husband that I had our day laborers check the oil in my car and give Abbey a bath.  Because they were so great and helpful and I was paying them $15 an hour. Each.

But now it is all over.  For Sale sign on the front lawn.  I. Am. Done.

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