All I wanted was a phone number to talk to a REAL person. That’s all. So I google the company and search all over their website for that highly treasured 1-800 number. Alas, not to be found. DESPITE this lovely bit of information on their home page:
This Company has the answer, the information and the resources to help you with all your business needs. Read Frequently Asked Questions, check out detailed information on our products and services or contact us with any questions via email, phone or mail. (Yes, there it is BY PHONE. Sure wish I could have found where they were hiding it).
Finding no alternative, I clicked on the “Contact us” link. Yeah, it’s like their phone number is super classified secret. But I did get to have this great online conversation:
A live chat agent is available now to assist you. Our live chat services are designed to save you time and create easy access to important information without your needing to pick up the phone. (But I really, really WANTED to pick up the phone!)
Would you like to chat with a customer service representative now?
Company: What is your first name?
You: Are you calling me on the phone?
Company: What is your last name?
You: You want my phone number?
Company: What is your email address?
You: Please just give me a phone number
Company: What is your phone number (with area code)?
You: 555- BR5499. Are you going to call me?
You: Yes (Okay this is a bit scary because of course I didn’t read it and it probably says you promise never to blog about the company. So I am accepting legal advice and not naming the company. Yes, totally weenied out).
Company: You are now chatting with Albert A
Albert A: Hello. Are you calling me on the phone? You want my phone number? ,thank you for visiting Company.com I am Albert and will help you today.
You: Hi Albert, can I have your phone number please?
Company: I am Albert and will help you today.
You: Yes, you already said that. What I really need is your phone number or you can call me?
Albert A: I would love to call you. However, I regret to inform you that the Company Chat Support Team is not equipped with any tool to contact our customers via phone. (WTF?)
If you need to talk to our Customer Service representatives over the phone to be promptly assisted with regard to your concern, please call 1-800-555-1212.
It is my pleasure to have assisted a valued customer like you. Is there anything else I can assist you with? (Wow! I feel so valued! Only took me 15 minutes to get a stupid phone number).
It looks like everything has been covered. Thank you for chatting with us. If you need further assistance feel free to contact us again. (Trust me, I am taking this phone number and if anyone else wants it, call me and we’ll discuss price).
Your live chat session has ended. You are now chatting with the Company Virtual Assistant. (Because of course there has to be someone ELSE to internet chat with, right? I kind of wanted to start a conversation with the Virtual Assistant, but I refrained myself. I really could have had so much more fun but I had to call the company).