Ever Have One of Those Days?

  •  When you get the bag of Doritos from the pantry before leaving for work to put some in a baggie to take for lunch. And then say to hell with it and just take the entire bag with you?
  • When you ignore the pet barf on the floor because rule is: First to See It, Cleans It? And then end up cleaning it up anyway because everyone in the house knows the same rule?
  • When you help your daughter study for her Art Appreciation college class, see a picture and totally call out big penis? So every time she sees it, all she sees is a big penis?
  • When you secretly wish your husband would go on a business trip so you can totally veg out and do nothing for days? (Wait a minute; I do that anyway).
  • When you tell your family you have every intention of cooking pork chops for dinner knowing full well that they are past their expiration date and you’ll have to order pizza instead?
  • When you feel just a little bit guilty for turning on your electric heater at work when it is 110 degrees outside?
  • When you just give up trying to be the line leader and drive the posted speed limit in the middle lane?
  • When you have a garage sale and sell something by mistake that belonged to your son’s girlfriend for 50 cents?  I. Will. Never. Live. It. Down.
  • When you erase your browser history because you were looking up breast cancer and opened up porn sites by mistake?
  • When your 8-pound, 13-year-old deaf and blind dog runs out into the road barking and chasing the little boy riding his bike past your house scaring the shit out of both of you?
  • When you go to Starbucks drive thru to get your usual drink and they recognize your car and tell you to just drive straight up to the window?



What? Like I wouldn’t include the picture?

One response to “Ever Have One of Those Days?

  1. Linda Slattery

    I might see the oversized Penis here but it looks more like my knee after 3 surgeries! (Look, the auto-correct capitalized Penis, as if it was a country…or someone’s name….hahaha!)

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