No, I am not high and yes, I am wearing pajama bottoms

I’ve been off  work for a few days because of my surgery – which is a bonafide reason to be off work, yet not being  TOTALLY incapacitated so my time off has been rather relaxing.  Having the past five days off with your family being extremely helpful and caring makes me smile and wonder what the hell happened to them.

But I did have to address a few issues:

  1. I got to eat lots of ice cream.  Because everyone knows that ice cream helps a knee heal.  So far I have had one M&M mini McFlurry, two vanilla cones, one Rocky Road frozen yogurt from TCBY, one chocolate frosty from Wendy’s and a chocolate covered strawberry blizzard from DQ.  Alas, I know this is all bad and I will have to start my ice cream withdrawal tomorrow. But what a ride it was while it lasted!
  2. I totally admit that I binge watched all of Season 4 – Orange is the New Black on Netflix.
  3. Dr V took off my bandages, said my incisions looked good and replaced them with these steri stripes bandages that he said would fall off on their own over the next week or so.  Half were gone the next day and then all were gone by day two. Guess the strips couldn’t handle my one-hour 110 degree shower that I finally got to take.
  4. Had Physical Therapy scheduled for tomorrow. Then it got changed to Friday.  Which is all good because I don’t like PT.  Last time it was scheduled, I would go late, leave early and just chat with the therapist.  That shit hurts.
  5. I didn’t appreciate my daughter asking me: “Mom, are you high?” While I certainly am cognizant that I have access to narcotics for pain, it isn’t like I am on them all the time and yes, I was perfectly fine to drive her to class (she just didn’t want to deal with campus parking. And then I also had to drop off her friend at her car.)
  6. I immediately got tired of the pets.  They are just so…there.  All. the. time.  I can’t even go to the bathroom without one of them following me.  And they want to be fed!  And need water!  Hello?! Do I have to remind them that I am the one who gets the attention?
  7. One afternoon I decided to get something to eat so grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

“Where are you going?” My husband asked.

“To McDonald’s.” (or Wendy’s, or Taco Bell, or Arby’s; honestly, it could have been any of them..)

“You’re wearing pajama bottoms. You don’t wear pajama bottoms outside of the house.”(I really need to brush up on all those household rules!)

Now, I have a bit of a problem with that. First of all, TECHNICALLY am I REALLY going “outside” the house when I am going through drive thru?  Isn’t that really, like, an extension of being INSIDE the house still?  And secondly, I put a bra on for heaven’s sake.  And I would have had shoes on except I couldn’t remember where I had left them.

But my husband just wouldn’t let it go: “Just to clarify, I am not coming if you get a flat tire or something.”

Fine. Be that way. No ice cream for him.



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