My Annual Valentine’s Day Bitch

I can’t believe it is Valentine’s Day AGAIN!  I swear it seems like we just had this holiday.  And you know how much it irritates me.  I have to do this special communication thing with my husband because even though I don’t want to do anything, I also don’t want to hurt his feelings.  Especially when he spends the time and effort to get a me a very nice Valentine’s Day card and gift and I give him a 12 pack of his favorite beer and a post-it note that says “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

So in celebration of the event, here is our annual planning for Valentine’s Day.  Via email.

Me:  Do you want flowers for Valentine’s Day?  Love, Lori

Him: Is this a hint?

Me: OMG no. Want flowers?

Him: Why would I want flowers?

Me: Do you want chocolate?

Him: Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)

I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

Me: Well, you ain’t gonna get what you really, really want

No way you gonna get whatcha really, really want

Done begging on your ass for what  you really, really want

You get what I wanna, I wanna, I wanna get you

And it ain’t no flowers you gonna getcha what I want

And it ain’t no chocolate you gonna getcha what I want

If you wanna be my lover

Better get me what I want, what I really, really want

Him: I know it’s not zigazig ah.

Me: Is that what you want for Valentine’s Day?

Him: I know something you don’t…

Me: It had better not be some really special, cool romantic Valentine’s Day thing.  Because all you are getting is a card and a can of cashew nuts.

And they say the romance is gone after 30 years of marriage!

heart

 

One response to “My Annual Valentine’s Day Bitch

  1. Unbelievable! Lori, you’re such a guy.

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