One of the outcomes from my accident was that I re-hurt my knee. I woke up Saturday morning after my car accident to a ton of pain and discomfort. I knew better than to go to a local urgent care or emergency room. I refused to be labelled as a “DRUG SEEKING INDIVIDUAL” which is exactly what happens these days.
However, I was super popular. And I knew this because I got a ton of letters that day as well:
I went back to my orthopedic doctor first thing Monday morning. I had, indeed, rehurt the knee and after x-rays and an exam, new orders were received.
One of those orders was to go back to physical therapy.
I am not good at physical therapy. First of all, it hurts. And I think I may have a bad reputation at the PT clinic. I’ll fully own it. My reputation is most surely due to the following:
- As I said, it hurts. So I am going to make every excuse in the world to either arrive late or leave early. I have the desk clerk’s email and cell phone number to text in advance and I also clearly tell my therapist that I can only do PT for 20 minutes and have to leave because I have some really important, trivial appointment. In their defense, they do their best to trick me into staying longer and are usually successful.
- I was once asked to lie on the treatment bed and “thrust my buttocks straight up.” Yeah, I am so not going to do that. Did they not see my age on my medical record? But I was polite about it. “Excuse me? You want me to do what? I don’t think so.”
- I love it when Carl is my therapist because he will massage my knee at the beginning of my session. I asked him if he thought I could get my husband to do it and he reminded me that I actually paid for him to do it. (He was right, my husband said no).
- I like the easy exercises the best. And then they add the infamous big ass rubber band to it. Which now makes it hard and not fun. And they know it because I am going to complain.
- I also complain when they call me back to the therapy area when I am watching Judge Judy on the TV in the waiting area. Especially when she is bitching someone out.
- I always ask for an ice pack to go. They have that really good crunchy ice that is good to eat. I keep a plastic cup in my car.
- There is this one machine that I kinda like. And the reason I like it because I watched Patty set the resistance on the machine. As soon as her back was turned, I would decrease the resistance so it didn’t hurt so much. And then put it back when I was finished.
- William tells me to do “10 repetitions on each knee twice.” I do half and then tell him I am done. He tells me to do 10 more. William is mean.
- Lucked out one day. I had just bought new shoes and got to admire them 20 repetitions times 2 on this one machine. William so called me out on it.
- Susan at the front desk is my favorite. She never lets me leave without validating my parking even chasing me down the elevator once when I forgot.
Seriously, I am really tired of having a hurt knee. I am hopeful that one day it will suddenly be better. Because if I have to go back to therapy one more time, I know there is going to be a rock, paper, scissor contest and the loser therapist will have to work with me.