My husband and I sometimes go to our local casino for entertainment and a free meal. Recently we had a heated debate over the accounting of our gambling budget that we bring with us to spend. If we lose, we budgeted for it; if we win – YEA! (But don’t bank on it; there is a reason for the phrase “The House Always Wins.”)
So this weekend when we went to the casino, my husband gave me $200. I like to play the slot machines. I take my $100 bill to the bill changer, get twenties and roam around looking for a suitable machine. I have to have one that allows you to make a .30 cent minimum bet. I think it is untruthful advertising when they have penny slot machines with a minimum of .50 needed to play. Basically all I want to do is sit down, put in $20 bucks and play for a long time at .30 a pop. I do have some deal breakers: If I do not get a bonus round within a reasonable amount of time/money, then I change machines. The definition of “Reasonable” is totally at my discretion. If a smoker sits next to me, I am gone. As a rule, we have to wash all our clothes (including jackets if worn) when we get home from a casino. And finally, if I get a measly $5.25 from a bonus round, I quit. I am insulted that my paltry .30 spin bonus doesn’t give me a decent payout. (Remember, I said reasonable was at my discretion).
So on this particular evening, I didn’t really feel like playing the slot machines. So I mostly visited with my husband at the blackjack table (Which, BTW is the only game where the house isn’t always 100% on the winning side) and drank lots of orange Nehi that I get for free from the soda machines. My husband is pretty good at blackjack. He is the source of our free meals. Trust me, no casino is going to gift me with a free buffet when I am waging .30 at the slot machines.
I think I should apply to be a blackjack dealer. Under reason for job I would state that I needed to brush up on my mental math addition skills. For whatever reason I can never count the totals fast enough in my head. And then you throw in that an Ace can be a one or an eleven and I am pretty much at a grade 3 level. And then there are all the rules you have to remember. Like if you get this you split and if you get this and the dealer has this you don’t bet and if dealer has a face card you have to keep asking for a card and you should stop on 17 only when….
At any rate, my whole point here is that I ended up not spending the other $100 bill. Safely nestled in my wallet, we walked out to the car to go home. And as always, I wanted to know how we (meaning, he) did.
“You have to give me the money you didn’t spend.”
“WHAT?” was my immediate response, “No I don’t – that is my money and I am going to spend it at Wal-Mart.”
“You can’t do that,” he explained. “It was originally part of the gambling budget and if you didn’t spend it, then it has to go back into the gambling budget.”
“It can still be a part of the gambling budget but I am just going to go gamble it at Wal-Mart on some new stuff.”
“That isn’t how it works. I have to track the amount of money we gamble with so since you didn’t spend it – it goes back into the gambling budget.”
For the record: 1) I did not give him back the $100 and immediately got home and spent the entire amount at Wal-Mart and 2) I am never, ever, never going to tell him again when I don’t spend my gambling allotment. There will always be this $1 slot machine that ate my $100 in 3 minutes. I’ll swear to it.