My Management Final Exam

Well, it’s not really my final exam.  It is actually my daughter’s summer class in Management. Of course I would help her since I do have a boat-load of management experience.  So I offered to help her with her final. I thought I did a pretty good job…

What are major differences between the Wagner Act and the Taft-Hartley Act? One was enacted in 1935 and the other in 1947.  Duh.

Define “ethics.”  What you are supposed to do when people are looking.

What drives unethical behavior in the business world?  Donald Trump.

How do you as “Big Boss” know work is being accomplished?  First of all, I resent the inference that I am “Big.”  And secondly, I know work is being accomplished because I get a paycheck every Friday.

What are KPI’s and how are they established?   Killer Penis Implants.  You throw them against the wall and see if they stick.

Describe the “Mushroom Theory of Management.” Well, you take a special mushroom and cook it up in water and drink the resulting tea-like beverage.  And then you go to your employees and tell them how you really feel.

What is work? According to Fifth Harmony: “Cuz I gotta go to work, work, work, work, work. Let my body do the work, work, work, work.”

In the 20th century, Henry Ford established a department in his factories to gain more than brute force from workers. What was the name of this department?  The Henry Ford Department of Gaining More Brute Force from Workers.

What must we have, as managers, to deliver high quality products, low costs and high customer service?  A really smart Assistant Manager.

What two things do all managers need? Coffee in the morning and chocolate in the afternoon (May substitute potato chips as needed).

What is the difference between motivation and reinforcement?  I will motivate you by threatening to kick your ass into working and then reinforce it by actually doing it.

For what are managers paid?  To keep issues from escalating to their boss.  Or HR.

Why don’t workers want to work? Why don’t writers want to write?  Why don’t cooks want to cook? Why don’t teachers want to teach?  This question is way too profound to reply as a short answer.  Therefore, I recommend that it is removed it from the exam.  Thank you.

List three types of teams. Fencing, Debate and Team Sheldon.

Why do workers need maintenance?  Because if they don’t have maintenance, they will rust.

List four questions you would ask in an interview.

  • Do you like to color?
  • Do you have a pet gerbil?
  • How many bicycles would fit in a 3 bedroom/2 bath house WITHOUT a garage?
  • Do you think Mary Poppins would have been an effective boss? Why or why not?

Explain how a simple breakfast meal serves as a reminder of the difference between commitment and involvement?  I am committed to making sure everyone knows I want Co-Co Wheats for breakfast.  I am involved by actually making the Co-Co Wheats and then eating it.

One response to “My Management Final Exam

  1. Linda Slattery

    I hope you won’t be too insulted but I don’t think I want you as my manager. You scare me.

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