Time to be an Empty-Nester

I recently read an article online.  It stated that in 2008 there were a lot of 20-something kids still living at home.  Fast forward to today and the article stated that trend did not stop once the economy got better and jobs were available.  If anything, there are even more 20-somethings are still living at home with their parents.

Which brings up my current complaint that I have two 20-somethings still living at home. Now, I really love both my kids.  I would do anything for them; I just want to do it from a distance of at least 5 miles away.   This really hit home when my best friend, Patty, called and told me she and her husband were official empty-nesters with their youngest going away to college last fall.  Her kids are like YEARS younger than mine.  All I could think was NOT FAIR!

After that call, I went to both my kids and told them I wanted them to move out.  I wanted to be an empty nester as soon as possible and they needed to help me attain this goal.  In fact, I informed them that they were having a negative impact on my middle-aged life. While they both readily understood and agreed, I could not get any definite move out dates from either of them.  Well, to be honest my daughter graduates from college in July and she did say she would be gone after that.  So now I get to work on my son.

Seeing that this conversation didn’t end with totes being filled and a new residence found, I believe I am going to have to hurry things along.  So here is my game plan:

  • Next time there is a bunch of kids over, I am going to gather up all my lawn equipment, pass it out and give instructions on what part of the lawn they will be responsible to work.
  • I am going to seriously consider putting outside locks on all three bathrooms and I  will hold the only key.  They will need to complete a chore before being allowed to use it.
  • I am going to put an empty tote next to each bedroom door.  As dishes are used and not cleaned, I will scoop them all up and place the dirty dishes in their tote for them to clean later.  I am positive this will work for my daughter.  Not so much for my son.  His bedroom already smells bad.
  • I will place ads on Craigslist asking for a room to rent for my kids. I will lie and tell them how helpful they will be with chores.  I’ll even offer to pay the first 3 months of rent for them in advance for a one year commitment.
  • Whenever I leave a chore list on the counter, the last chore listed will be “Move out of house.”
  • The only food I am going to purchase will be bread, peanut butter, jelly, cereal and milk.  The bad part about this idea is that it will just force them to go to Taco Bell.
  • I will continue my crusade of asking my dear friends if anyone has interest in letting my kids live with them.  I have yet to find a taker but am not giving up.

But I think there is one thing my husband and I can do that will really have an impact:

  • I am going to inform both kids that effective immediately their dad and I have decided to become nudists and will no longer wear clothes in the house.  I have to believe that seeing a naked mom mopping the floor will be enough to force the issue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

One response to “Time to be an Empty-Nester

  1. Cute post. I think they know you would miss them so much if they moved out.

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