LWL Musings # 93

I woke up one morning to go to work and discovered my son had made brownies in the middle of night.  I grabbed one and put it in a baggie to add to my lunch for the day. Then I thought about it a bit more. I sent a quick text to my son: “I took a brownie for lunch today. Please text me if I SHOULD NOT eat it.”  Didn’t hear anything back, ate the brownie.  Later my son asked me about the text.  He didn’t get it at all until I explained it to him.  Then he thought it was pretty funny.

Overheard in the grocery store: “My boyfriend is kicking me out the apartment and said I had to be out by the end of the month.  Well, that means I have two weeks to walk around the apartment naked to show him what he ain’t getting no more until I leave.”

I once told a teenager that you cannot call an infant an asshole. I mean, you should wait until the child is at least 4 or 5, right?  And the fact that this is even a conversation means that they are so not ready to have children.

My girlfriend told me she had a conversation with a guy about being “friends with benefits.”  He responded by saying that he already had medical insurance and didn’t need to have that kind of relationship.

Text to my husband:

text2

As soon as I asked my husband if he knew where my special nuts were, I knew the answer was going to be bad.  (Even worse, they were in my son’s room.  Normally one never eats any food that has been in his room but I made an exception.  I mean, they had cashews AND pecans!)

My daughter calls me Bougie because I quit scooping the cat litter box and just throw the whole thing away twice per week.  Boca is 14 and I guess it will be me and the litter box from now on.  Sucks.  And I use the expensive febreze cat litter too.  Cuz you don’t mess with cat pee.

 

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