My husband and I are about to begin a five-state, 11-hour journey to visit my daughter. If I remember correctly, the last time we tried this my husband quit talking to me for three states. He has already changed our departure time from 8 am to 6 am to 4 am. At which point I am like “just poke me in the ass and I will grab my pillow and blanket, get in the car and go back to sleep.”
And we are having conversations like this:
Me: Christina wants us to bring the blue Dodger jersey, Cards Against Humanity game and a whisk.
Him: Why do I have to add it to my list?
Me: Because I know you have a list. I have a post-it note.
I’ve done the most important thing – shopping at the Dollar Tree for a bag full of munchies, 5-hour energy shots, extra sunglasses and toys. (My husband removed the puffy Cheetos). I even put back the toy that made the clacker noises because I know I can annoyingly do that already without help. But I did keep the glitter. Because we are going to see my daughter’s boyfriend and it is his birthday and he hates loves glitter. (It’ll be okay – I’ll give him his card outside).
We decided we are going to drive his bat mobile so we spent last Saturday cleaning it inside and out. Okay, he cleaned it – I just popped my head out a few times to ahhh and oooh over how shiny it was. I did clean the custom made floor mats and was told I didn’t go a good enough job. Hence the reason why I never help clean his car. And for the record, I am pretty sure that I will not be doing any of the 11-hour driving. Not that I can’t but I just don’t see it happening. But I’ll bring along my 4-inch cushion that I will need to sit on in order to see over the steering wheel.
I already did a face time with Christina in her old walk-in closet to see if there was anything she left that she wants us to bring (No). She is, however, much more interested in kitchen stuff. So we decided to give her our $25 mixer bowl. I had no idea it was such an expensive mixing bowl until I saw one just like it but smaller at an antique store. I still have no idea why it is so expensive but since I only use it to store dog food, it is probably going to a better home.
I am preparing the pets that we are leaving them with our son and they are to take whatever means necessary for attention. Boca-cat needs no instructions. He is already a very talented pain in the ass. Abbey will need to be a little more forceful than lying next to her empty dog bowl and sighing. My daughter and I had a plan to sneak Abbey into the back seat of the Camaro and bring her with. But my husband would most probably notice an 80-pound Golden Retriever dog in the back seat. Besides, dog hair is not allowed in his car. Neither is Cheetos which is why I put them back in the munchie bag.
As usual, I will put everything off until the last minute to make sure my husband is irritated. I will bring it all together in the end though and make sure we leave on time. But once in the car, all bets are off.
So if I never blog again, please send someone to come look for me. I was probably left somewhere along Hwy 40.