LWL Headlines

Sometimes I come across headlines or news stories that crack me up:

$175,000

The amount of cash that rained down on an Atlanta interstate after an armored truck’s door unexpectedly opened. Some drivers pulled over to scoop up the money; police want them to give it back. (MSN.com)

Yeah, I wouldn’t give it back.  This would be considered the cost of doing business and why there is insurance.

Fighter Pilots Draw Penis in the Sky.  Air Force says it was an accident. By Zachary Cohen, CNN (May 30,2019)

Of course they said it was an accident.  Because drawing boobies would make them too dizzy.

Cows Genetically Modified to Burp and Fart Less Could Cut Methane Emissions by Half (Newsweek, 7-15-19)

I wish I could genetically alter my son so his emissions would be cut in half as well. Or at least give me advance notice when he cuts one in the car.

Crashed spacecraft may have left tiny, hardy ‘moss piglets’ on the moon 

I want a job where I get to name shit “tiny, hardy ‘moss piglets.”  Except I would go with “minuscule glistening earth dribbles.”

Lightning struck a house and made a toilet explode

“The Exploding Toilets” would be a great name for a rock band.

Las Vegas Grasshopper Invasion sparks drink specials.

They are available in green glasses shaped like a grasshopper and costs $28.99.

You Can Now Get Matching Christmas Pajamas With Your Dog (Country Living, Aug 13 12:12 PM CDT)

I had totally planned on putting in a picture with my dog in pajamas but she wanted nothing to do with it.

We regret to inform you that pumpkin spice Spam exists (Morgan Sung, Mashable, 8/15/19)

I have never recovered from eating regular Spam as a child.

 

And Finally:

Our networking and virtualization teams identified an issue between the load balancer and the VMWare connection servers in the Secondary Data Center that present virtual desktops to thin and zero clients.

An IT explanation that should end with: “Which totally explains the explosion.”

 

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