I wasn’t planning on taking a shower on Saturday until I stood next to my husband and he told me I was stinky.
Morning Prayer to God: Please help me to be more healthful in 2020. Well, except for the eight pieces of fudge that I know you know I put in my lunchbox this morning. But I swear I am only going to eat the nuts. Okay, please start helping me tomorrow. Amen.
I answered my husband’s cell phone when my daughter called him. I tried to be funny and made my voice sound like a guy so she would totally think she was talking to her dad. Note to self: Do not do that again. It just freaked her out: “Mom! what is wrong with you!?”
We had game night last month with our daughter and her boyfriend. We played “Head’s Up” using the app on her phone. The words were all hard. We found animals to be the easiest but in hindsight, maybe it was because we were drinking Tequila. We were on the “Movies” category and my husband had the phone and I had to describe it. The name of the movie was “Godzilla” so I immediately starting talking about the tall building and the ape and the planes and my daughter told me I had the wrong movie. Which I totally denied and then my husband immediately guessed “Godzilla” correctly. And THAT is what 34 years of marriage looks like!
I spilled marshmallows on the carpet in my office and then inadvertently ground them into the carpet with my rollie chair. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get smashed marshmallows out of carpet?
I guess there is this new rule where you no longer need to have two spaces after the period of sentences. Except that is what I have been doing for years. I just can’t stop the habit and now have to remember to go back and remove the extra space. This is so irritating. Who decides the rules?
I told my husband I was going to make my Golden Retriever, Abbey, a service dog. He said, “How can she be a service dog? She only has one eye.” I guess she will have to be my one-eyed emotional service dog. If only I could get her to quit begging for food.