A Lecture on Pop Tarts

Like everyone else, my husband and I are stuck at home during these difficult days.  The good news is that we are really getting along quite well despite all the togetherness.  We are sharing the computer (I sleep in until noon so my husband gets the mornings) and trying to get some home projects completed.  But we have had our share of issues:

  • Going out ANYWHERE is a Big. Deal.  Even if I do not get out of the car, I want to come.  So imagine my disappointment when my husband went to Kum and Go (our local 7-11 {not kidding}) for lottery tickets.  I whined for two hours.

Kum and Go logo

  • The bath mat argument:  When I get out of the shower, I always dry my feet before stepping out.  My husband does not.  So we spent 30 minutes discussing the pros and cons of a wet bath mat vs. a dry one after I had to step on his wet bath mat.  By the way, we have three bathrooms.
  • Gaining weight.  Damn quarantine.  Which leads me to:
  • Going to the store.  We usually do online shopping and then pick up.  But sometimes we go to the store.  When this happens, I am like a kid on Christmas day.  We get to shop!  We get to see things!  We get to go outside!  And I will admit I go a little crazy.  I know I really should not have gotten the pop tarts.  But I was hungry and they were staring at me in the cereal aisle.  Yes, I got the Pop Tart Lecture. But it was so worth it.
  • About toilet paper.  All I can say is when it was hard to find toilet paper, my husband actually showed me how many little squares I should use.  Yeah, not going to happen and my bathroom habits are confidential.
  • My husband’s hair is getting pretty long as he won’t go to get it cut.  I am really liking the little curls that are at the end. I could actually put it in a ponytail with my scrunchie the other day.  Of course, he hates it. And I was told I could not take a picture.  My other idea was to watch YouTube videos on how to cut hair and I could cut his hair and he could cut mine.  That didn’t happen, either.
  • Forget regular clocks.  I need one to tell which day of the week it is.  And yes, you can buy them.  This one is $45.99:dAY CLOCK
  • We got to celebrate Father’s Day by ourselves. Our kids asked me what their dad wanted for his special day.  I told them both he wanted Turtle candy.  Because I wanted Turtle candy.
  • With the quarantine there will either be a lot of babies or a lot of divorces.    We are too old for babies.  Not getting divorced.  So there must be a third option. Like keeping a posted schedule of when you want to be alone and where you will do it in the house. Or the deck.  At least we have a nice deck that overlooks our weed infested back yard.
  • Since all we do is ride in the car and maybe go through drive through, we get to listen to music on the radio.  My husband made a new rule. You are not allowed to sing the song if you do not know the words.  I do know the words.  They are “Dirty Deeds and the Thunder Cheeks “
  • I have never been so pissed off when I run out of underwear and comfy house-only clothes.  Not working means I should not have to do laundry – Ever.

One response to “A Lecture on Pop Tarts

  1. Linda Slattery

    LMAO! Really funny. 🤣🤣
    I know you both well and I know you didn’t make this stuff up. 🤣
    Thanks for the laughs!

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