Went to buy a lighter and the grocery clerk wanted my DOB and my DL. I told her that was too much of a commitment for a lighter. I don’t even smoke. Cigarettes. I have to tell you, she asked me more than once if I WAS SURE I didn’t want the lighter. I told her I would get one the next time I buy nighttime cough syrup and they make me present a copy of my birth certificate.
It is eight (8) days before my daughter’s wedding. Such an exciting time. But not for my husband who is the wedding planner. I mean, that florist had better not mess up the cake flowers. I can’t tell you how many spreadsheets there are. But a lot. Anyway, was talking to my niece the other day and she asked me what are the colors for the wedding? I did not know. I did know about the mauvey pink. Excuse me, Dusty Rose. I had to ask the wedding planner what the colors are. He told me Dusty Rose, Ivory and Navy Blue. Didn’t know that. And my son had no idea about the tradition of the brides family paying for the wedding expenses. But now he does and has included “parents have money” as one of the attributes for a future wife.
Text between me and my husband (FINE. My husband and I:)
Told my daughter she could use my flowers as her wedding bouquet. She asked if these were the flower pens I have had in my office forever. I told her they were, but we could wrap the ends so ink would not get on her wedding dress. She declined. (I didn’t have the heart to tell her how pissed off dad was at the florist and this might be her best bet…)
More wedding stuff. Now, I am sure after the wedding I will have lots to post about. My daughter and I already had this conversation: “Mom, so help me. If you wait until the last minute and it is too late to buy a dress and you go into your closet and ask yourself ‘which one of these are good enough for my daughter’s wedding?’ I will be so pissed.” Damn. There goes that plan.
Conversations with my son:
- You have to be careful with Karma Liability.
- This isn’t my first rodeo. In fact, I have a chapped ass already.
- Cough, Cough Joe. (This was the note. I do not remember anything about this but am 100% it had to do with my son). Maybe I will remember some day.
- My son said if a person writes “alot” instead of “a lot,” they should never have graduated from high school. Says the guy who had no idea that shoes came with the tux rental.