Tag Archives: Airplane

Yes it was totally my fault but that isn’t going to stop me from bitching about it.

We were booked on the last flight of the day.  We had a stop over in Atlanta with our connecting flight not leaving until after 10:00 pm. So by the time we landed, got our luggage and found our car in the parking lot (this time I actually remembered where I parked) it was almost 1:00 am when we got home.

But that didn’t mean I could sleep in the next day because I only took four days of vacation, not five. Making sure my usual three alarms were set, I played games on my phone until I was so sleepy it slipped from my hands and hit my face.  Which was my signal that it was time to go to sleep.

The alarm went off the next morning at 5:45 am.  I immediately turned that sucker completely off and turned over going right back to sleep.  At the 6:00 am notification of time to get up, I hit snooze. Okay four times and finally got up right before 6:20 am. Since I was running late, I hurried and got out the door in 20 minutes.

As I backed my car out of the garage (a story I also need to share soon – I’m in the garage!) and headed down the road, I noticed that the car clock said 5:48 am. WTF? I thought it must be wrong but then it was kinda dark out — maybe it was the cloud cover.  As I drove to work, I turned on the car radio.  When Pat and Jill in the morning said it was almost 6 am I was dumbfounded. What the hell happened?

Well, I learned something new. If you are in the Eastern Time Zone and do not remove your “Airplane Mode” from your phone, while you may live in the Central Time Zone, your phone will not. So I was still on Florida time.  And yes, the thought to turn my ass around and go home to sleep for an hour did cross my mind.  But by that point, I was on the highway and committed. Pissed but very committed to the commute.

Good news is that traffic was super light so made good time to work.  And when I parked on the street where there were plenty of spaces so early in the morning.

In the office, Shirley was the first person to mention that I was in early. When I told her what happened, she thought it was pretty funny.  I still did not think it was funny.  I had to have an energy drink to stay awake and as soon as my boss came in, I told her I was leaving at 3:00 pm since I got to work so early. Except I had a scheduled Skype meeting at 3:00 pm so it was actually after 4 pm before I left.  So go ahead and laugh. But I learned my lesson and will never use airplane mode again. Next time I am just going to turn the damn phone off.

Business Trip Part II

  • Text message from my daughter (Business Trip Day 1)

I’m starving and dad said he was guna cook ham mac and cheese and green beans and he didn’t.  I just want you to know your children are guna starve this week.

I didn’t even bother to respond.

  •  As a rule I rarely call to check in while on a business trip.  During my entire week-long trip, the only text message I sent to my husband was: “Is Abbey okay?  Does she miss me?” (My Golden Retriever).  Can you tell we have been married A. LONG.TIME?
  •  I was waiting at the airport to be picked up. I texted my son and husband: “How much longer?”

My son texted back: “On our way be there in 1,800 seconds.  “mental math”

(An example of something I do to them that is really irritating when they do it back to me.) 

  •  I appreciate a good race car driver as much as anyone.  However, even I had to admit that I thought the airplane pilot was going to tip the plane over onto one wheel going 50 mph as we taxied into our gate coming into the Minneapolis/St Paul airport.  Not that I didn’t enjoy the ride.  I am sure that even I could drive a plane on the tarmac once landed.  But I doubt anyone would let me.  And they couldn’t expect me to be able to back it up.
  • I can’t believe they actually felt the need for a sign in the public restroom:


  • I know that my mom jeans are too big when I am pulled during the security check for an “abdomen pat down.”  “No, I don’t have a bomb on me, my jeans are just too big,” I insisted in my head.  Because you never, ever want to mention the word “bomb” out loud in an airport.

Notes from a Business Trip

I traveled to Kansas City MO last week for a business conference.  Not as glamorous a meeting destination as say, San Francisco or New York City; but I’ll take it; I actually like to travel.

Here are a few things about my trip:

  1. I am in Zone 2 for boarding. As I stand in line there is a lady with a small child who is obviously also in my zone.  “Please don’t make me sit next to the baby, please don’t make me sit next to the baby.”  Because the flight is full.  And I hate traveling with small children.  They are loud and annoying.  And sticky.
  2. There should be some kind of training for people who use the people mover. It is highly entertaining to watch some of them exit off the moving conveyor belt.  And I couldn’t help but wonder why one elderly woman even thought she should use it; I mean she had a walker. And a suitcase.  Way too many wheels for one person.
  3. I immediately begin my “Where’s Waldo” game looking for the Starbucks in my connecting airports.  Usually it isn’t in the gate area that I need to be in so I have to use time management skills to get there and back to my gate before my flight leaves. However, I do plan for this in advance with at least an hour layover between flights.  Because I want Starbucks.  And technically it is my breakfast meal.
  4. Airplane turbulence is not scary to me.  Rather I think of it as a free roller coaster ride.  While others on the plane may be grabbing their armrests with white knuckles, I am quietly smiling inside thinking “Whee.” Besides, if I were to die, what better way than in a plane crash? I bet I would be remembered more for that than any of the other more boring ways in which to die.
  5. Interview with a flight attendant:  “What skill set would you bring to Bagfee Airlines?” the hiring manager would ask. And the prospective employee would answer: “I can shove 15% more luggage into the overhead bins than other flight  staff.”                “You’re hired.”
  6. Love, love, love the tunnel in the Detroit airport. This is the second time I got to walk through the color and music montage. 
  7. At the hotel we shared the conference area with the National Homicide Detective Convention.  I liked the comment from the guy in the elevator:  “I could have done without the autopsy pics right before lunch.”  I’m thinking that their seminar was probably much more interesting than mine. But none of them had guns.  What’s with that?
  8. I was a bit surprised to see that there was a 13th floor in the hotel.  The explanation from the hotel staff was that the hotel was designed by an Asian architect firm.  The 13th floor is fine; it is the 4th floor that was eliminated.  (And I am not even going to get into the story of what it took for me to take a decent picture here – let’s just say I never did offer an explanation to the folks who got on the elevator from the 17th floor).

And finally:  What is with the skanky palm trees in the hotel lobby? And I wonder if pets are allowed?  (Boca would so love this).