Tag Archives: artist

It’s SUPPOSED to be a Dragonfly!

My daughter and I went to a Wine and Canvas event and painted a dragonfly. This was totally my idea and as soon as Christina realized she would not have to pay for it, she was totally on board.

Having the opportunity to use real paint on an actual canvas was awesome!  We felt like true artists. (Except I doubt true artists would mistake their cleaning water with a glass of wine but that is why it is called Wine and Canvas, right?)  We had a great teacher named Zack. There was this one girl next to me who drew a great big picture of a large inverted penis on her canvas. For some reason she wasn’t happy with it so Zack instantly transformed it into a dragonfly.  THAT is talent!  He also totally fixed Christina’s motion lines and as an added educational bonus, knew what a “thorax” was on a bug.

Official Artist and Instructor - Zack

Official Artist and Instructor – Zack

Just like real artists, we got to mix colors together and had five brushes to use.  I totally blame any faulty artistry on the fact that my #5 brush had issues. Although to be honest, Christina did mention to me that mixing green with white would have worked better with paint rather than the sour cream that came with our nachos.  (The event was held at a Mexican restaurant so that was totally not my fault and in fact, should be expected).

But what pissed me off the most was that Christina’s picture was better than mine. She should at least have had the decency to make sure hers was uglier since I paid.

When I mentioned hanging my picture on a wall at home, my husband vetoed the idea.  He said the colors didn’t match our decor.  So next time my plan will be to paint a neutral colored mostly pastel picture of a penis.  With motion lines.


The Tradition of “To Lori From Lori”

In order to make 100% absolutely sure that I get EXACTLY what I want for Christmas, I always add a few presents under the tree that are tagged “To Lori From Lori.”  As usual, I got just what I wanted:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAn oil paint set including brushes and seven blank canvases.  Because in 2014   I have decided to dabble in the art world.  And what makes me think I have any talent at painting?  Well, nothing really.  Except I am really good at doodling during long meetings.

But I was really thinking of incorporating more color and texture in a real painting.  And glitter.  I love glitter.  Like an abstract channeling of free clip art based on dream imagery and pastel color placement. (I am so hoping I can paint as well as I can bullshit).  So whether I have talent or not, I figure I have seven blank canvases to work with and if nothing else, I can always post to Craigslist and title it as an original painting from a local artist.  Someone should buy it for $10 bucks, don’t you think?  And if not, guess who will be all set for Christmas gifts next year?

Also, I got another favorite Christmas gift of all times:  Starbucks gift cards.  After transferring all of them to my main card, I have over $225 on it.  I know that just seems obscene but I still can’t help smiling.

 Starbucks logo