Tag Archives: electric blanket

10 Reasons why the Polar Vortex Sucks

  1. My car heater cannot keep up with the cold.  Therefore, I am getting a new car.
  2. Last night I was dressed in sweat pants and cuddle-dud’s (a much better version of long johns; we have so evolved), sitting in front of an electric heater with a heated throw covered by a blanket.  And I was STILL DAMN COLD!
  3. I am getting really tired of fighting Casey for floor space directly in front of my personal space heater.
  4. My usual electric blanket setting at night is a 4.  This past week it has been at 8.  And the only adjustment my husband made was to start using a blanket at night.
  5. A cop car had to follow behind the garbage man on Monday when he was picking up trash to make sure no one slid into him.  At last a sound example of my tax dollars at work. And I also bet that the cop car had a REALLY GOOD CAR HEATER.
  6. No one wants to be stuck inside the house with Boca-cat.  He is being so hateful to everyone because he is stuck inside the house and bored to death.  That means we have to tip toe around him so he doesn’t swipe at our feet and trip us, yell at him to quit pouncing on Casey and wake up in the middle of the night to pissed off Boca noises (if he can’t go outside, NO ONE is going to get any sleep!)
  7. I had absolutely no good reason as to why I could not take down the Christmas tree and put away the holiday decorations when I was stuck at home for four days due to the weather.
  8. NOW would be a really good time to start experiencing hot flashes. But with my luck it will be next July.
  9. All my really warm socks are ugly
  10. This whole Polar Vortex explanation is a sham.  The movie industry is just making the whole thing up to be used in a future hit movie that will gross millions.

Snot Freezing Cold

O

It is REALLY cold outside.

HOW COLD IS IT?

  • My car window was frozen and wouldn’t open when I tried to order Starbucks. Not that it stopped me; I had to open the door. And no, it isn’t ironic that I order a cold drink  because the heat in my car is always on high.
  • My electric blanket setting is getting higher and higher every night. One night I am going to wake up thinking I am having hot flashes.
  • I tried for the very first time using active yeast in a recipe. Except the bread wouldn’t rise. Because it was too damn cold in the house. Next time it goes with me under the electric blanket.
  • Even the cat stays in at night. He wakes us up playing with the kitchen cabinets. But he still refuses to use the inside cat litter box. Good kitty.
  • Still fighting over the electric heater with Casey.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

  • I am forced to offer a monetary bonus incentive to the kids to get them to go to the store and buy stuff. Like firewood for the fireplace.
  • I had a hissy fit this morning because I could only find one glove. I ended up wearing my bright red and yellow mittens. I really don’t think they project the overall professional look I was going for.
  • I come home, put on cuddle-duds under my sweats, two pairs of socks and slippers. Then turn on my heated throw, move the small electric space heater so it blows directly on me and complain to my husband that he needs to turn up the heat. I know he doesn’t listen.  He quit listening back in 1989.
  • It is simply snot freezing cold

Things my husband and I have argued about:

  1. Our front door wreath.  Here is the problem.  We do have a very beautiful artificial green Christmas wreath with a shiny red bow on it.  The problem is that the door hanger on the front door wasn’t strong enough to hold it.  Last holiday season, every time my son shut the front door, the wreath fell off and would end up on the porch. This new, improved, lightweight wreath can withstand my son’s slamming of the front door.  I know this because I tried it numerous times by soundly slamming the door shut and it did not fall off once.  But my husband thinks it looks tacky.  My daughter and I like it; my son has no vote so I win and this is now our official front door Christmas wreath.

2.       I wish my husband would just get over my driving:

 HIM:    You are driving too close – you are supposed to be one car length away for every 10 mph.

ME:    I am far enough behind.

HIM:     You are too close.  You are going to back-end a car one of these days and I am going to tell you I told you so.

ME:    So tell me then (This has not happened in my entire driving career and I seriously doubt it will happen anytime soon.  Besides, usually the car in front of me will pull over to the side and let me pass.  They are weenies).

3.    I was ready to pounce on my husband for turning off my electric blanket on Saturday.  I woke up cold and knew I had my blanket turned to setting #4 for the entire night.  Then he told me the blanket had an automatic turn off feature after 10 hours and I felt kind of bad.

Then again, I was taking a nap on the futon in the office and my husband wanted to get on his computer.  So he strolled in, unplugged my heated throw from the wall and kicked me out.  He also ignored my complaints as I stomped off with my heated throw and plugged it into the living room outlet to finish my nap on the couch.

 4.     My husband sent me a link to a shed along with the note:  “What do you think?”

I answered: “It’s brown.”

He said:  “And…?”

My response:  “Nothing else; it’s brown.”