Tag Archives: mud

Because I don’t wear slippers when I mow the lawn, that’s why.

It all started out due to a complaint from my 18-year-old son that “it takes hours to mow the lawn!”  This comment coming right after a request for money based on household chores.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERANow, I love mowing the lawn.  Always have.  I get a real sense of accomplishment when I finish the lawn.  Cut grass smells wonderful, I get to listen to my iPod, get exercise and fresh air. 

And I would do it for free.

So in order to prove my point, I firmly stated, “Fine! I’ll do the lawn from now on so you can quit complaining!”  And then immediately thought to myself, “Stop. Wait.  What did I just commit to?”

We have a big lawn.  Big. Ass. Lawn.  Over an acre.  With stupid little trees and a muddy ucky back yard area where the septic tank empties.  And I know it is mucky because Abbey will run out there and then wait by the back door with muddy paws.  Which have to be rinsed and cleaned before she is allowed back in the house.

But I digress.  Now I had to mow the lawn.  So my husband and I went to the garage (because we still haven’t completed day three of shed building) and took out the riding lawn mower.  It had two flat tires.  And was covered in mud and grass clippings and the blade thingy looked really crooked.  After some mild swearing, my husband got the mower fixed best as possible (we couldn’t get it to stop making this agonizing screechy sound when the blade went over uneven ground).OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I decided to switch it up and not cut the lawn up and down.  So I went for the diagonal look.  Which would have been okay except I am also “backing up challenged” on a riding lawn mower as well as a car.  And I never did get the hang of the turning so wasted a lot of time mowing over the same part of lawn over and over again.  And while the speeds available were 1 through 6. I was steady at 3 and would get a fast heartbeat at 4 so it took forever to get done.

  • I got stuck in the mud in the back yard and my husband had to come rescue me.  I remembered to raise the blade.  Didn’t dawn on me to use reverse.
  • Next time I should aim the grass clipping spout away from the newly opened swimming pool.
  • And I really need to pick up all the dog poop before using the push mower in those hard to get spots.  (Self-propelled is a very loose interpretation of our mower)
  • I can’t believe how many stupid big pieces of wood are strewn all over the lawn from just a few stupid trees.
  • I would rather re-mow an area 12 times than rake and bag up grass clippings.
  • I don’t care how pissy my husband gets; I am NOT going to take the time to remove the grass clippings from the driveway and sidewalk when finished.

At least I was dressed appropriately.  My son wears slippers. These have been sitting on the front porch for weeks. Mine are white with green grass stains.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

And I almost lost it when my son came to me as I was laboring with the push mower under a stand of pine trees on the south side of our property.

“Why are you mowing that? It belongs to the neighbors.”

“It does not.  This is all our property. In fact, I wish the neighbors would let us mow all the way to their driveway.”  (Like he just found this out?  After two years of mowing the lawn?)

“Are you going to get something for dinner when you’re done?”

Some questions just don’t deserve an answer.  And for the record, it took me 6 hours to mow our lawn.  I am paying myself $200.

Day Two of Shed Building; Three Weeks Later

As you remember, we are in the process of building a 10X10 shed in our backyard. This is a project we have had on our to-do list for a very long time. Don’t ask me why we chose to do this during an Ohio winter. According to my husband, all we needed was three days of fairly good weather and we’d be done.

So we started the project by creating the cement floor right before Christmas. And we did finish that on Day One. Then the snow came. And stayed.
However, we had a major warming front come through over the weekend and on Saturday morning we were out again in the wet and muddy back yard to work on the project. This time we started to put together the frame for the shed.O
Things I have learned so far:
• My son is much better to work with after he has eaten something for breakfast and drinks an energy drink (preferable a LARGE energy drink). Especially if we are expecting him to be up and useful before 9:00 am on a Saturday.
• My daughter has her work schedule perfected so that she ALWAYS has to work when we plan shed building time.
• Our two dogs love to hang around outside with us all day. And they absolutely do not care that their feet end up all wet and muddy from the melted snow. However, this was definitely a bad time to install a new pet door so our Golden Retriever can go back into the house whenever she wanted.
• There is a difference between a sump pump and a septic pump. I learned this when I was banished from the work site due to arguing with the building foreman and told to remove the standing water from the top of the pool cover. (I also am not a good worker before 9:00 am on Saturday. Unfortunately for me, NOTHING is going to make me in a better mood short of putting my ass back to bed).
• There are different hammers. And my husband is extremely picky about which one he wants to use. Next time I am going to print out a label so everyone knows which one is his and no one else can touch it.
I will admit that I am not horribly useful with this project. My son bitched at me saying “all you do is stand around and watch.” I told him this wasn’t true, I also picked up all the dog crap from our work area, replaced water bottles and tided up the trash. It isn’t my fault I am not allowed to touch the drill, can’t hammer a nail straight and am not strong enough to move heavy stuff. Okay, so when my husband told me to measure the 117 boards to make sure we had the proper number, I did disappear for 30 minutes until he did it himself. I have no idea the difference between a 3X5; 2X4 or 1X2 nor was I going to measure every single one of them. A task that would have taken me half a day was completed by him in less than 15 minutes.
What I was very successful in doing was drying the concrete with my hair dryer. We needed to have the concrete fairly dry before we placed the last two anchor boards to the concrete using tubes of gluey stuff. So my job was to place the dryer on the concrete and move it periodically until it was dry. I hate to brag but I was damn good at this.O
So by the end of the day we did make some real progress by having the front and back framed and some of the roof done. But then it was supposed to rain (oh, darn!) so we moved everything into the garage at the end of the day so we could continue to work on it.
Only one more day to go and this little project will be completed. At least that is my story and I am sticking to it. Only our three-day project began in December, continued in January and will most probably end in March or April.