Tag Archives: Starbucks

LWL Musings #62

I gave my son my department store credit card to go buy some clothes.  All I can say is I am thankful he has a girlfriend.  Because when the receipt was auto emailed to me, the first item listed was “Lacy Thong” for $12.99 ($6.00 on clearance). Obviously a little tidbit of information that he didn’t know about.

Because I have a long commute I get to bitch.  I can’t understand how  there can be three lanes and all traffic blocked for miles.  On my way home today I just wasn’t in the mood.  So I frogged the entire 22 miles going home at 80 mph. And I was totally okay if I got a speeding ticket. But I would be damned sure that the notation “Consistently used blinkers for all lane changes” was printed on it.

Don’t you hate it when where you go to get groceries is dependent upon what you are wearing?  Crappy clothes = Walmart.  Nice clothes like after work you go to Publix or Kroger. Sometimes I think I would rather pay more at a nicer store than fight the people of Walmart.

We tried the family vacation at the FL Keys. Yeah, just didn’t work for me.  I did dishes, took out trash and ran to the bait store as the designated driver way to much.  My husband and I have scheduled a FL Keys do-over.  We are old. We get to do that.

Pool next to Beach was pretty awesome, though:

FL

Me at Starbucks drive-thru:

“I’d like the Unicorn Frappuccino”
          “We no longer have those”
“Can I have a Mermaid Frappuccino?”
          “No, those are over too”
“Do you have an Ice Cream Frappuccino with pink glitter?”
          “Ah, no.”
“How about a descending blue color Frappuccino?”
          “No.” (Clearly my intercom guy was done with this game but there was no one behind me in the drive thru so I HAD to do one more…)
“How about a That’s What She Said Frappuccino?”

Alas, I got my usual.  But I tried.  If he would have just asked for ingredients I swear I would have made something up that included vanilla, chia tea, caramel, glitter sprinkles and extra whipped cream with nutmeg on top.

Ever Have One of Those Days?

  •  When you get the bag of Doritos from the pantry before leaving for work to put some in a baggie to take for lunch. And then say to hell with it and just take the entire bag with you?
  • When you ignore the pet barf on the floor because rule is: First to See It, Cleans It? And then end up cleaning it up anyway because everyone in the house knows the same rule?
  • When you help your daughter study for her Art Appreciation college class, see a picture and totally call out big penis? So every time she sees it, all she sees is a big penis?
  • When you secretly wish your husband would go on a business trip so you can totally veg out and do nothing for days? (Wait a minute; I do that anyway).
  • When you tell your family you have every intention of cooking pork chops for dinner knowing full well that they are past their expiration date and you’ll have to order pizza instead?
  • When you feel just a little bit guilty for turning on your electric heater at work when it is 110 degrees outside?
  • When you just give up trying to be the line leader and drive the posted speed limit in the middle lane?
  • When you have a garage sale and sell something by mistake that belonged to your son’s girlfriend for 50 cents?  I. Will. Never. Live. It. Down.
  • When you erase your browser history because you were looking up breast cancer and opened up porn sites by mistake?
  • When your 8-pound, 13-year-old deaf and blind dog runs out into the road barking and chasing the little boy riding his bike past your house scaring the shit out of both of you?
  • When you go to Starbucks drive thru to get your usual drink and they recognize your car and tell you to just drive straight up to the window?

 

art

What? Like I wouldn’t include the picture?

The Tradition of “To Lori From Lori”

In order to make 100% absolutely sure that I get EXACTLY what I want for Christmas, I always add a few presents under the tree that are tagged “To Lori From Lori.”  As usual, I got just what I wanted:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAAn oil paint set including brushes and seven blank canvases.  Because in 2014   I have decided to dabble in the art world.  And what makes me think I have any talent at painting?  Well, nothing really.  Except I am really good at doodling during long meetings.

But I was really thinking of incorporating more color and texture in a real painting.  And glitter.  I love glitter.  Like an abstract channeling of free clip art based on dream imagery and pastel color placement. (I am so hoping I can paint as well as I can bullshit).  So whether I have talent or not, I figure I have seven blank canvases to work with and if nothing else, I can always post to Craigslist and title it as an original painting from a local artist.  Someone should buy it for $10 bucks, don’t you think?  And if not, guess who will be all set for Christmas gifts next year?

Also, I got another favorite Christmas gift of all times:  Starbucks gift cards.  After transferring all of them to my main card, I have over $225 on it.  I know that just seems obscene but I still can’t help smiling.

 Starbucks logo

Slip Sliding Away

More snow for Ohio! There is such a discrepancy in the weather from my house to my work. So while I may see very little snow at home, I tend to see a whole lot more snow at work.

Fast forward to this morning. Horrible, horrible roads. Snow everywhere and it was the wet, dirty kind of snow. I lost count of the number of trucks with the snow plows that were not plowing but just driving around. And the roads REALLY needed a good plow. Like how sometimes your husband needs a good plow, but I digress.

I got stuck on I-75; either standing still or driving 20 mph. I didn’t want to feel like a weenie since there were little compact cars driving and I had an all-wheel drive so shouldn’t complain, right? But I was pissed at the white truck that spewed the crappy dirty gray snow all over my car. And the semi’s just don’t care. I don’t blame them. If I knew I would always win at car wreck, I would probably drive exactly the same.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

So it took me over two hours to get to work. I did call to make sure my afternoon appointment wasn’t cancelled. Because if I were, I think I would have weenied out and stayed home. The stupid ramps and roads by my work weren’t even plowed out.

Of course this did not stop me from getting a Starbucks on my way to work. And I will also admit that I totally slid out in their parking lot. You know, the parking lot with the truck and snow plow parked.

It’s my Texting Game; Therefore I Always Win

I drive my family crazy with nonsensical useless texting for as long as they will continue to respond.  It really pisses me off when someone actually plays back.

Me:      Do you want me to bring home JITB for you and Michael?

Him:    Not for me but you can get Michael something.

Me:      Let me know if he wants me to get him his usual.

Him:    He will text you.  Feel better?

Me:      Did I feel bad to start?

Him:    ???

Me:      You asked if I feel better???

Him:    Do you?

Me:      Do I what?  You do realize you are irritating me, right?  And I am at a seminar all day?

Him:    Feel better?

Me:      Now you are just being a PITA

Him:    Did you take something?  Now you know how the kids feel.

Me:      OMG!  Do you mean like my tea was spiked?

Me:     STOP IT!

Him:    Stop What?

Me:      I am seriously trying to pay attention to the E&Y presentation on FASB   ED’s.  The impact this will have on leases is very important and will have major cost reporting implications.  (You do know I am so going to win this, right?)

Him:    *$?

Me:      No, too late.  I already won.  You can’t send three stupid characters and still play.

Him:    * = star

Him:    What is $

Me:      My rules, dammit!

Him:    $ = Bucks

Me:      My ass = your $

Him:    Get it?  I win!!!!!!!!!!!

Him:    *$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$

Me:      I am not playing with you anymore.

Him:    I won!

Me:      Did not. Because you didn’t follow Lori’s texting rules.

Me:      Fine, are you ready for round 2?

Him:    What’s round?

Me:      My ass.  You suck at this game.

Notes from a Business Trip

I traveled to Kansas City MO last week for a business conference.  Not as glamorous a meeting destination as say, San Francisco or New York City; but I’ll take it; I actually like to travel.

Here are a few things about my trip:

  1. I am in Zone 2 for boarding. As I stand in line there is a lady with a small child who is obviously also in my zone.  “Please don’t make me sit next to the baby, please don’t make me sit next to the baby.”  Because the flight is full.  And I hate traveling with small children.  They are loud and annoying.  And sticky.
  2. There should be some kind of training for people who use the people mover. It is highly entertaining to watch some of them exit off the moving conveyor belt.  And I couldn’t help but wonder why one elderly woman even thought she should use it; I mean she had a walker. And a suitcase.  Way too many wheels for one person.
  3. I immediately begin my “Where’s Waldo” game looking for the Starbucks in my connecting airports.  Usually it isn’t in the gate area that I need to be in so I have to use time management skills to get there and back to my gate before my flight leaves. However, I do plan for this in advance with at least an hour layover between flights.  Because I want Starbucks.  And technically it is my breakfast meal.
  4. Airplane turbulence is not scary to me.  Rather I think of it as a free roller coaster ride.  While others on the plane may be grabbing their armrests with white knuckles, I am quietly smiling inside thinking “Whee.” Besides, if I were to die, what better way than in a plane crash? I bet I would be remembered more for that than any of the other more boring ways in which to die.
  5. Interview with a flight attendant:  “What skill set would you bring to Bagfee Airlines?” the hiring manager would ask. And the prospective employee would answer: “I can shove 15% more luggage into the overhead bins than other flight  staff.”                “You’re hired.”
  6. Love, love, love the tunnel in the Detroit airport. This is the second time I got to walk through the color and music montage. 
  7. At the hotel we shared the conference area with the National Homicide Detective Convention.  I liked the comment from the guy in the elevator:  “I could have done without the autopsy pics right before lunch.”  I’m thinking that their seminar was probably much more interesting than mine. But none of them had guns.  What’s with that?
  8. I was a bit surprised to see that there was a 13th floor in the hotel.  The explanation from the hotel staff was that the hotel was designed by an Asian architect firm.  The 13th floor is fine; it is the 4th floor that was eliminated.  (And I am not even going to get into the story of what it took for me to take a decent picture here – let’s just say I never did offer an explanation to the folks who got on the elevator from the 17th floor).

And finally:  What is with the skanky palm trees in the hotel lobby? And I wonder if pets are allowed?  (Boca would so love this).

Healthy Eating = Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting

  • This past weekend I had to skim the swimming pool to remove leaves (Yes, I know it is almost November and should already be covered up; not my job).  I found a lot of crickets swimming around and when I scoop them up with the net, they jump right back into the pool water.  Stupid Crickets.
  • I watched an informational and educational program about Healthy eating today.   Afterwards, I immediately purchased a piece of chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting.
  • Late yesterday at work I was eating Crunchy Cheetos at my desk and one fell.  When I looked, it was w-w-w-a-a-y far against the wall under the desk. So I left it.  When I came into work this morning, someone from housekeeping had picked it up. I feel like such a slob.
  • Sometimes I bring home taffy or caramel and offer some to my son, who still has his braces on at age 18 despite being promised they would be removed last September.  He is just so pissy about it.
  • Went to Macy’s over the weekend and got my birthday present.  It’s a new heated throw.  I can’t wait to get it.  My birthday is in November and already my husband said I can’t have it until Christmas.  He had better play my game according to my rules.  I didn’t go to all this trouble for nothing.
  • I am getting old.  And the reason I know that is because I just saw the date “2030” and the first thing I did was the math to see if I would still be alive.